Charlie Valdez
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: Leo Valdez's son. Need I say more? :)
1. Birthday boy

"He's there! Hide it!" Kara quickly hid the gift behind her back. She, Joe and Carly all watched as their friend slowly made his way towards them. Kara was of average height and slim, her red hair- red, not ginger- pulled back in a French plait. Her sapphire blue eyes sparkled in the light as she smiled at their approaching friend. Today she wore jeans and a purple T-shirt. Carly was of similar height to Kara, but wasn't as slim. She didn't really care about her weight as long as she didn't get too 'fat'. Her short, dark-blonde hair fell around her shoulders in layers, her fringe falling over her left eye. She too wore jeans and a dark blue T-shirt. Joe was the tallest with his thick black hair gelled up in messy spikes, his sky blue eyes glinting happily at the sight of their friend. He wore tracksuit bottoms and a soccer T-shirt.

Everyone loved Charlie Valdez. He was just so smiley and loveable, making everyone laugh and feel better about themselves. There wasn't a bad bone in his body- unless you counted the continuous pranks.

Today was Charlie's birthday. He was the youngest in their small group and the shortest, but he didn't care. The girls were taller than him but only because he had to look up at their 'shining beauty'.

Charlie stopped ten feet away and took up a conversation with the new kid in the grade below. Charlie grinned cheekily and the new kid and his friends were laughing.

"Charlie!" He looked round innocently. Kara waved him over.

Charlie's form of greeting was hugging everyone. He had Carly and Kara under his arms (even though that was a bit difficult with them being taller than him) - "How are my fine princesses today then?"- Before he moved forward and crushed Joe in a bear hug. "How're you doing, mate?"

"Good, good." Joe grinned, ruffling Charlie's curly hair. "How's it feel to finally be thirteen?"

"I'm a teenager!" Charlie exclaimed, throwing his arms out. "I can go around terrorizing old grannies now and they'll be like," Charlie switched to his impression of an elderly woman, "Young hooligans of today with their loud music and rampant ways. I remember when-"

"OK, Charlie, we get it." Kara held his present out. "Happy birthday." Charlie grinned, but then realised something.

"No birthday beats! Remember last year?" Joe had snuck up on Charlie last year to give him birthday beats and somehow Joe ended up lying on the floor with his face covered in thick, green goo that hadn't washed off for hours.

"OK, but just this once." Joe agreed. Charlie took his birthday present, his grin back and childish. He tore the wrapping paper off and stuck the ribbon on Kara's forehead.

"Aw, sweet! How'd you know?" Charlie grinned at the build a remote control plane set.

"'Cos you told us you wanted it, remember?"

"I did?"

"About three weeks ago."

"Do you really expect me to remember stuff from ages ago?" Charlie shook his head at Joe. "Silly Josephine."

"_Josephine_?!" Joe protested. "Alright _midget_, birthday beats."

"Eep." Charlie squeaked. He turned and ran. Joe's birthday beats _hurt_.

* * *

"Charlie, put the plane away."

"Aw, what?"

"This is a Math lesson, not construction."

"You get Math in construction."

"Charlie…" The teacher warned.

"Miss, it's my birthday."

"So?"

"Rules don't apply to me on my birthday."

"Rules don't apply to you any day, Charlie. Now put the plane away and get on with your work."

"I've done it." The teacher looked bewildered. "What?" Charlie smirked. "Did you think I was stupid, Miss?"

"N-no, I just thought you didn't understand Math."

"That was trigonometry, Miss. Every kid's worst nightmare." The teacher smiled.

"Put the plane away and stop leaning back on that chair!"

"Dammit." Charlie fell forward, putting all four legs of the chair on the ground. His friends grinned at him. "Test flight at recess." He told them, slipping his plane carefully into its box. It had taken him half an hour, without the instructions, to build it. He was feeling pretty damn good. "Miss, did you get me a present?"

"No."

"But it's my birthday."

"Charlie, birthday or not, if you don't shut up, I will issue extra homework just for you." Charlie was momentarily stunned, but then he smirked. "Oh god, I hate that look…"

"Well, Miss, I don't really get the work. I copied from Kara and if you give me extra homework, that's more work you've got to sit there and correct while I'm at home playing _Call of Duty_ with Dad."

"Charlie?"

"Yes Miss?"

"Shut up."

"What's the magic word?" Charlie teased. The teacher gave a disbelieving laugh, shaking her head. "Come on, Miss. Starts with 'A'…"

"Avada Kedavra." Someone near the front said.

"Avada Kedavra to you too, my friend."

"Do you even know what it is?" Kara asked.

"Nope."

"The Killing Curse from Harry Potter."

"Oh…" Charlie looked at the girl who had spoken. "You're so kind."

"I know."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Well, I stole your face."

"You've seen it!" Charlie beamed. The girl nodded. "If you weren't on the other side of the classroom, I would hug you." The girl smiled.

"No, you're OK." Charlie was about to protest- who didn't want from a hug from him?! Outrage! But the teacher cut across.

"What are you on about?" The teacher asked.

"Asdf movies, Miss. You've gotta let us watch them." The teacher started shaking her head so Charlie threw her the 'I'm-so-lovable-would-you-do-what-I-say?' look.

The teacher faltered. No-one had the strength to stand up to Charlie's irresistible pleading look.

"Maybe at the end of term."

"Sweet." Charlie grinned.

"Jay, what's the answer to question one?"


	2. Dealing

"And then BOOM!" His friends jumped, the girls squealing. "He was no more…" Charlie finished dramatically, spreading his hands to indicate a disappearance.

"No!" Carly protested. "It can't end like that!" Charlie put one hand on his hip and pointed at her.

"Look here, young lady," He said in an Old English accent, "The story shall end any way I deem it worthy to end."

"Do the Scottish accent, _please_." Kara begged. Charlie smiled cockily and cleared his throat.

"Oh, no… not the kilt…" Joe pleaded.

"Oh, it's a wee bit breezy down there." Charlie pretended to be holding down a kilt on a windy day. "If ye eat ya oats 'n' wheat, ya will grow from a wee lil' lassie to a big strong lad, like yours truly." The girls were in peals of laughter while Joe was in denial. Ever since Charlie had met Joe's Scottish grandfather, he had not stopped with the Scottish accent.

"Can you do, um, that detective one?" Carly asked.

"Detective one?" Carly nodded. "Uh… what detective one?"

"Curly!" They were interrupted by Charlie's only enemy- Kevin.

Kevin was jealous of all the attention Charlie got. Charlie was ADHD and dyslexic, but his was funny, kind of smart and always put a smile on people's faces. Kevin wasn't so popular, more infamous than famous. He was stocky and athletic whereas Charlie was short and kind of scrawny. Only Charlie could make scrawny look cute. Charlie's hair was a wild, curly mess while Kevin's was a tame, flat land of dull brown hair. Charlie's eyes were full of life, humour and often burned like embers in a homey hearth, while Kevin's eyes were icy blue, cold and unloving.

"Kevin, my man." Charlie snapped his fingers and made finger guns, popping a bullet from each into Kevin. "What's up?"

"That plane."

"What about it?"

"I want it."

"Well, it's mine." Kevin was a rich boy and was used to getting what he wanted. "My birthday present, mate, you ain't having it."

"I thought you'd say that." Kevin produced an envelope. "Have a look." Charlie took the envelope and sat down. He pulled out a thin stack of photos.

"Cliché much, dude. Hey, that's one got my good side."

"I thought you said you were all good side?" Kara smiled.

"I am."

"Then- you know what, nevermind." Charlie smiled devilishly.

"That's me. And that's me. And that's me too!" He looked up at Kevin, who didn't look happy. "Who took these photos?"

"I did."

"Well, they're really good. I guess you can be nice."

"Or he's your stalker." Joe suggested slyly. Charlie's smile faltered.

"Ew, no." He shook his head, but held the photo stack up proudly. "I'm gonna get these framed and then they're going on my wall."

"Can I have one?" Carly asked quietly.

"Anything for you, princess." She smiled. "Wait, where these supposed to be some of those pictures that I don't want anyone else seeing?" Kevin's jaw clenched which probably meant 'yes'. "Hell, I'm gonna photocopy them and stick up around the school."

"Vain much?"

"No. I can't be everywhere at once and people need to see some sheer awesome every day."

"Vain much?" Kara repeated. Charlie rolled his eyes.

"Actually… maybe a little bit. But I blame my dad."

"Curly, the plane."

"What about it?" They were at the start of their conversation again.

"I want it."

"Well, it's mine."

"I'll pay you."

"You might as well get your own if you're gonna pay me for it."

"But I don't want to build it."

"Well, you get and I'll build it. I work at… five dollars an hour?" Kevin pursed his lips. "Don't do that, you look like a duck." He scowled. "Six dollars an hour after a face like that."

"Fine." And he was gone.

"Are you gonna spend a whole day working on it?" Carly asked disbelievingly.

"I'm gonna say that and spend the rest of my day blowing stuff up."

"Sounds about right."

"You're a fraud." Joe smiled.

"I prefer devilishly handsome and smart, but hey," Charlie shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat."


	3. Party prep

It was party time at school. For obvious reasons, Charlie had been asked to help with the planning. It was only him, the teachers and Charlie's three friends who knew what was going on.

"Joe, you're DJ. Drop da sick beats, bro." Joe cracked up. "You have to keep dem ladies moving."

"OK, OK. Honestly, Charlie."

"What? All da ladies love da beats."

"OK, that's enough of the 'da' and 'dem', alright Charlie?"

"Aw, what? Buzzkill, man." Joe shrugged. "Where dose girls- sorry." Charlie hummed. "Where are the girls?"

"Bathroom break, probably."

"Oh great. Prepare for hanging streamers and balloons, my friend."

"I am not getting on that ladder."

"Chicken. My mom jumped off a cliff once. No harness, no nothing. And she survived."

"How?"

"It's Mom." Charlie shrugged. "I wouldn't take her on, hell no."

"Chicken."

"Oh," Charlie stuck his tongue out, "to you, _Josephine_."

"Midget." Joe ruffled Charlie's curls. "Better start on those balloons."

"Yeah…"

* * *

Charlie let a balloon go. The fascination on his face as he followed the balloon's rambling movements and smiling at the fart-like sound it made.

Of course, the balloon had to land on a teacher's head.

"Charlie!"

"Sorry!"

"No, you're not!" The teacher bunched up the balloon and threw it back at him. It fell short. "Get those balloons up. We've only got a few hours left."

"Sir, chill. Charlie Valdez is on the case." The teacher rolled his eyes and went back to organizing food with the school cooks. "Joe, helium."

"Huh?"

"Squeaky voices."

"Your voice is squeaky enough." Charlie glared at him.

"Squeaky." Charlie squeaked. "Squeaky Josephine."

"Shut up with the Josephine thing!"

"Make me." Charlie challenged, filling another balloon with helium.

"You're not actually gonna do it, are you?"

"Yeah. You've got to do it too."

"No."

"Chicken." Charlie finished filling the balloon. He had just started breathing in helium when the girls returned. "Oh no." Charlie squeaked. Then he started laughing. "This is so cool!"

"You sound like a chipmunk." Charlie breathed in another mouthful of helium before answering.

"Chipmunk Charlie! I like it." Joe couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously, Charlie, cut it out." Charlie motioned for him to be quiet as the girls sat down and picked up balloons.

"Hey guys." Kara smiled. Charlie hid his balloon behind his back. "Charlie, you've got that look. What have you done?"

"Nothing."

"You've breathed in helium!"

"Well, duh. It was so tempting." He paused as they laughed. "Stop laughing, this is _very_ serious!"

"You're laughing too!" Carly giggled.

"Can we put helium in the punch?" Charlie asked, producing his balloon and breathing in the gas again.

"No, I don't think so."

"But it'll be so cool. Everyone will sound like chipmunks."

"Charlie, stop it!" Kara protested, laughing again. That's when Charlie started singing the 'Funky town' chorus. Even the teachers were laughing. He switched to a Justin Bieber song, which fitted perfectly with his new helium-squeaky, high pitched voice. And then he switched to another song: "Imma be up in the club, doing whatever I like, Imma be popping that bubbly, calling it living a good life…"

"Charlie, stop! I can't breathe!"

"Is anyone here a doctor?" No-one answered, most still calming down from laughing. "No, seriously, I don't know how long helium lasts for."

"A couple of hours, I guess, Charlie."

"Oh… Funkay town." He sang, doing a little dance.

"No stop it!" Kara scolded, smiling. Charlie stood up. "Please don't sing." She laughed. "My sides can't take it."

"Come on ladies; come on ladies, one pound fi-i-ish." **(One pound fish song on YouTube)**.

"Charlie!"


	4. Unexpected

"Hey, you're supposed to be the DJ!" They had to shout over the music.

"I got hungry!" Joe called back.

"OK! Dad made tofu burgers if you want some!" Charlie glanced round. "There's two left!"

"Your dad isn't here, is he?"

"Nah! 'Too many teenagers'!" Charlie mimicked his father's voice perfectly. Joe grinned.

"How do you do that?"

"Practise!" Charlie snapped his fingers, his signature move for when he had an idea. "We should both have a helium balloon and go on stage!"

"On your own!" Charlie pulled a puppy dog eye look and threw it in Joe's direction. Joe faltered instantly. "I'll think about it!"

"Attaboy, Joe!" Joe helped himself to the last two tofu burgers while a trio of girls giggled their way over to Charlie. "Ladies… having fun?" They nodded, laughing and smiling. "Great! What can I do for three fine beauties then?"

* * *

While Joe got his food and drink, Charlie went off to dance with the girls.

Joe had a secret. Although he appeared to be a bit of a ladies man at times, like Charlie, he wasn't. In fact, he was still coming to terms with his discovery himself.

He and Charlie had been friends for years, but oddly enough, eighteen months ago, Joe's feelings for Charlie, the most adorable and humorous kid in school, had changed. At first, he didn't understand. Six months down the line and those feelings were strong enough to be understood. Seven months on and Joe admitted to himself what he was.

Now, Joe needed to get things done.

He grabbed Charlie's shoulder, making the smaller boy turn and grin.

"What's up, Joe?" Charlie shouted over the music.

"Can I talk to you?" Joe called back. Charlie nodded, turning back to the girls he had been dancing with.

"I'll be back soon, ladies!"

* * *

Joe found an empty and unlocked classroom on the floor above. It was blissfully quieter than the school hall beneath them. The floor way actually shaking from the force of the loud music.

Charlie freed a long, blue streamer from his curls. He looked at it carefully. "Hello blue streamer. Where'd you come from?" He knotted the blue streamer a couple of times, but it ripped. "Dammit." He looked up. "What's up, Joe?" He asked again.

"I, um, I need your help?"

"What's broken?"

"Nothing."

"Then what-?"

"I need to tell my parents something."

"Yeah…" Charlie motioned for him to continue. Joe took a few steadying breaths.

"I don't know how to tell them, especially Dad." Charlie scratched his nose, scrunching his face up slightly.

"'Scuse." He said before sneezing. "Right, sorry. What- why are you laughing?" Joe shook his head, calming his random burst of most likely nervous laughter. "What can't you tell your old man?" Was it Charlie or did Joe suddenly look nervous? Actually, he kind of looked like he was going to throw chunks. Charlie had seen that before- it hadn't been pretty.

"I… I think… um…" Joe pressed his lips together, trying to steady his breathing. Charlie watched him patiently. "I think I'm…" He trailed off. Charlie started searching the many pockets of his costume. It was a fancy dress party and Charlie had turned up as a Marine armed with Nerf guns. He had hundreds of bullets in his pockets. Joe had been less imaginative and turned up as a basketball player. "What are you doing?"

"Hold on." Charlie searched his trouser pockets. "Ah, gotcha." He produced a ball of multi-coloured plasticine wrapped in grease paper. "Here. It's like one of those anti-stress things."

"Anti-stress? Why'd you need anti-stress?"

"My counsellor in my old school told me to keep this with me."

"You were there for what? Six months?"

"Six months, three weeks and two and a half days."

"I was close. Why did you get kicked out?" Charlie hesitated.

"Um… set fire to the music block. It was an accident, honest, but they kicked me out anyway."

"So you were a ten year old arsonist?"

"Nine year old, but what's the difference?" He smiled slyly, handing over the plasticine. His hands were cold- "Cold hands, warm heart," Jessica had told him. "I would say the same about Lou, but she isn't always warm hearted." Charlie pulled himself to the present as Joe pulled the plasticine apart, squashed it together and shaped it into random blobs in his hands. "So, what'd you need to tell your parents?"

"I'm… I'm…" Joe trailed off, his eyes fixed on the plasticine.

"Did I mention plasticine is very good at distracting people?" Joe offered a weak smile. Charlie's emerald eyes glittered cheekily.

Joe thought about how to tell Charlie. He couldn't help but imagining a series of negative reactions from Charlie and it just made him more nervous.

"C-can I-I-I show y-you?"

"You're not going to turn into a vampire are you?"

"No." Joe smiled.

"Werewolf? Man, that'd be so co-mmph!" Joe had stepped in and did what Charlie thought was the most un-Joe-ish thing ever.

Joe kissed him.


	5. Planning

A few seconds paused in stunned silence before Charlie pulled away. Joe looked hurt, burning a deep scarlet. "Y-you're… you're gay?" Joe nodded, chewing his lip. "You're… you're dad doesn't like gay people, does he?" Joe shook his head sadly. "Dude, he's a git." Charlie looked at his hands. With his mind firing up with ideas to help Joe, the daze and astonishment he had felt at the unexpected kiss had melted away- not completely, but enough for Charlie to notice his hands were unusually warm. "Uh, Joe?"

"Do you want me to go?"

"Go? Why?" Joe hesitated. "Look, gay or not, your still my best bud." Joe winced. "What? What'd I sa-?" The look from Joe said it all. "Oh…" Charlie had not seen that coming. "Um, look… you've completely confused me, I'll be honest. But, uh, that's not what I'm getting at…" Charlie tucked his hands under his arms. Now he understood what his dad meant about 'difficult control'. "A bit of warning would have been nice. I…" Charlie hesitated. "I could've hurt you." Joe gave a disbelievingly laugh, the tension easing from his shoulders.

"Charlie, you wouldn't hurt a fly."

"No, no, no. Not attack you, but, uh, but something…" This was not helping. His hands and arms were increasingly warm. He just hoped there weren't any flames curling through his hair. It had happened in a cinema, midway through a movie. That had been awkward. "Um… how long have you known you were gay?" Joe shrugged.

"About six, maybe seven months." Joe frowned. "Are you OK? Do you want your plasticine back?"

"No, no, you keep it."

"Charlie, you're grimacing. What's going on?"

"Um… long story. Uh… we need to tell your dad. Could you be openly gay in front of him? Or be like that gay guy, Louie Spence?"

"Louie Spence?"

"Yeah, I'll show you videos or something later. He's camp gay, but it's real funny to make fun of him." Charlie hugged himself tightly. Joe frowned.

"Seriously, Charlie, what's the matter?"

"I'll explain later. I've gotta help you first."

"You look like you're in pain. My gay thing can wait."

"No, I'm fine. Um, can you open a window?" Joe looked at him quizzically but obeyed. "We could put posters up or on his car or through the mail box… you know those posters that say 'Some people are gay, get over it'?" Joe nodded in understanding. The cool night air played across Charlie's hot skin, helping slightly, but not enough. "Uh, you could send him a text. Paint it on the wall. Um…"

"Is it me or is your hair smoking?"

"Oh gods…" Charlie quickly patted his hair out, but flames curled along his forearms and around his fingers. Joe backed up hastily. "I can explain." Charlie said, his grimace relaxing- freeing his fire relieved the uncomfortable feeling.

"Y-you b-b-burnt t-the mu-music bl-block d-down... in y-your ol-old sc-school…" Joe stammered.

"Yeah…" Charlie pressed his lips together, not sure what to say. "That wasn't entirely my fault. People were throwing things at me and I panicked. Um, that's kinda when I figured out how strong my fire was."

"Fire…" Joe mumbled.

"Mm-hm. I'll explain later, I need to help you first."

"Can I say it's slightly off-putting and scary that my friend is spontaneously combusting?"

"Oh, I've had worse." Joe paled, backing away from the flames. "Seriously though, bud, I won't hurt you."

"You burnt a building down."

"That was an accident and I was _nine_. I've gotten better at controlling it." Charlie started making shapes- animals, cars, houses- with his fire in his hands, thinking furiously. "Well, we need to do something. Uh, I could rig up a sign or something and have it say 'Your son's gay, bloody well deal with it'."

"Or you could get a fire extinguisher. Like, right now."

"You get it." Charlie smiled warmly, but it looked creepy with the fire casting shadows over his elfish features. "Or we could make our own newspaper and have it as a front page and then post it through his door."

"I am not having my… me being gay… that is not going around."

"Just one paper to your dad. That's it. And why not? You're gay, so what?" Smoke finally filtered up to the sprinklers and they went off. There were screams downstairs. "Oh, pants. Now I'm a party pooper." But his fire went out. Joe visibly relaxed slightly, but kept his distance.

"Dad doesn't like gay people. He got in a fight with one a few months back 'cos the guy was kissing his, uh, boyfriend in front of Dad."

"Well, that's stupid." Joe gave a slow nod of agreement. Charlie snapped his fingers. "I'm gonna hack his laptop."

"Do you need his laptop to do that?"

"No."

"Oh… good."

"Why?"

"He never parts with it. It's always work, work, work with that guy." Joe sighed miserably.

"What's he do again?"

"Bank manager."

"Eww…" Charlie looked repulsed. "My dad's a handy man."

"I know. He fixed my mom's car, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Charlie's curls had flattened down and were now falling over his eyes. "Sometimes I hate water." He slicked his hair back and checked his reflection in the window. "Hey, good looking." He grinned. "Ooh, everyone's outside." Charlie leant out the open window. "OY!" He shouted as loudly as he could. People turned in his direction. "YOU ALL SMELL!" Joe couldn't help but smile, but he pulled Charlie back. "Hey!" Charlie protested.

"You'll fall out the window."

"I'll be fine." Charlie waved it off. "You, on the other hand…" Charlie pulled a face, drumming his fingers lightly on his lips. "I need to think on this, bud." Joe sighed.

"Don't worry about it."

"Too late." Charlie grinned. Joe smiled half-heartedly in return. "You asked for help, so I'm helping. Do not back out of this now or I will… um… I will hack your Facebook and change everything myself."

"You can't hack my Facebook."

"I can. I've done it before."

"What? Mine?"

"No. Kevin's."

"You legend."

"I know, I know." Charlie grinned. "We should get outside before someone comes barging in."

"They're gonna kill you." Charlie shrugged, moving towards the window.

"SMELLY GITS!"


	6. Drive home

"You're very quiet." Leo commented. "You set the alarms off, didn't you?"

"Yeah…" Charlie smiled sweetly. Leo grinned.

"Attaboy, Curls." Leo flicked on the indicator. "There's something else. What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"How'd you know?"

"You're too much like me." Leo shot him a sideways sly grin. "Not that that's a bad thing."

"Supreme bad boys together, huh, Dad?" Leo chuckled and ruffled Charlie's hair.

"Always, trouble." Leo slammed on the brakes. "Git." He blared the horn and got a very rude hand gesture back. Charlie opened the window as they drove past and put his thumb and finger up in the loser sign. The guy stopped dead in his tracks. Charlie pointed at him with a finger gun and winked cheekily. They rounded a corner and Charlie closed the window. Leo was smiling proudly. "Yep, just like me."

"High five." Charlie grinned, holding his hand up. Leo held his hand up in response. Charlie high-fived him. "How are we so cool?"

"It's a Valdez thing." Leo replied smoothly. Charlie slouched in his seat, getting comfortable. "So, how were things at the party before you bought the rain?"

"That was an accident." Charlie insisted. "And it was OK. Your tofu burgers were a big hit."

"Really? Wow." Leo grinned.

"I danced with some girls."

"Good boy." Charlie smiled.

"Talked to Joe. He, uh, kinda found out about my fire."

"How?" Leo asked curiously. Charlie hesitated. "Charlie?"

"Um…" Charlie said brilliantly. They had to stop at traffic lights, much to Charlie's dismay. "Well… uh…" He cracked his knuckles nervously.

"Charlie, did he upset you?"

"No… he… he confused me. A lot."

"Well, that's not that difficult."

"Thanks for that, Dad."

"Anytime. What'd he do?"

"Uh…"

"D'you want me to talk to him?"

"I don't know…" The light turned green. Leo drove on. "Can I drive?"

"No. Don't change the subject, you." Leo reached over and poked Charlie in the side. Charlie squirmed, complaining. Leo chuckled. "You're just like your mama."

"Same pressure points?" Leo nodded. "Sweet."

"You didn't find out from me, OK?"

"OK." Charlie grinned.

"You still haven't told me what happened." Charlie's smile faltered and his shoulders slouched in defeat. Leo glanced at him. "If you can't tell me, you're gonna have to tell your mom."

"Oh gods no…"

"Exactly." Charlie glanced out the window, watching the lights flash by. Leo waited for him to talk, mainly focused on the road.

Charlie was playing the conversation through in his head:

"_Joe's gay, Dad." _

"_OK… how did that make him find out about your fire?"_

"_Uh… he kinda, might've, sorta kissed me?" Leo slammed on the brakes and looked at Charlie. Charlie held his father's gaze, noticing the studying look in them. _

"_He did what?" _

"_Kissed me." Charlie mumbled. Leo frowned. _

"Oy, wake up." Charlie opened his eyes, confused.

"Wha-?"

"You fell asleep, silly."

"Ugh…" Charlie curled up in his seat. "Comfy."

"The car gets cold." Charlie looked up, pulling a face. Leo grinned at him. "Come on. Your mom will wanna know how you ended the party."

"OK." Leo pulled Charlie out the car.

* * *

Charlie lay awake most of the night, replaying the events in his head. The more he thought about it, the more confused he got. He figured out how to help Joe- all of his ideas! Posters, laptop hacking, the one and only newspaper for Joe's dad and the others. If that didn't work, Charlie was going to sneak into Joe's dad's office at the bank and rig everything electrical to flash up with two words: _Joe's gay. _And if that didn't work, Charlie was going to kidnap Joe's dad and… something. That was it. Something.

Charlie remembered something Elsie had told him to do when he was confused. Make a mental list of things that he wasn't confused about and work with those. His mental list consisted of:

_Tofu burgers were a huge hit with teenagers and teachers._

_Joe was gay._

_Joe liked Charlie- as in liked._

_Charlie was confused._

That was about it.

Charlie sighed.

This was going to be a long night.


	7. Sick day

Charlie's alarm clock buzzed. He groaned and pulled his pillow over his head.

Today was not his day… and it was only seven in the morning.

Charlie hit the alarm clock but it didn't shut up. After a few more hits, he threw it the floor, where it shattered and fell silent. Charlie hid under the covers as his door opened.

"You've had the clock a week."

"I don't like it." Charlie complained.

"I don't either. Hurry up and get up or breakfast will go cold." Charlie made a silly noise in protest, making his dad chuckle. The door closed and Charlie sighed in relief. It was a Wednesday and he was not getting up. Mainly because they had Sport today and it was Dodgeball and it was likely that Kevin and his mates would hurl dodge-balls at his head at a million miles an hour. It hurt.

"Can I get him up?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"Give him one more minute and then go and get him." Louisa slouched in her seat.

"You're no fun anymore." She mumbled.

"I'm making you breakfast, right?"

"It's takin' _ages_…" Louisa complained. Leo smiled over his shoulder at her and she returned it cheekily. "Can I get him up now?" Leo sighed and nodded, smiling. "Oh, what? No fair!" Leo looked round to see Charlie leaning against the doorway, still half-asleep. "Leo, does Charlie look a bit funny to you?"

"He always looks funny." Leo replied instantly, but he moved forward and checked on Charlie. He did seem paler than usual. "You fee- oh Styx." Leo caught Charlie by the arms as Charlie's knees buckled. "Nope, not feeling OK." Louisa appeared, helping Leo support Charlie as the teen walked to a nearby chair. He made it three steps before falling to his knees completely, his arms slipping from their hands.

"Curls?" Louisa knelt next to him.

"Ugh…" Charlie groaned in response. Louisa felt his forehead but withdrew her hand quickly.

"Leo, he's burnin' up big time." Leo was rummaging in the cupboard above the counter, retrieving a canteen of nectar.

"No wonder why he smashed his alarm clock." Leo muttered, propping Charlie up in a sitting position against the counter. He managed to get Charlie to drink some nectar, but Charlie recoiled at the taste after a few sips. Nectar always tasted nice, differing for those who drank it. Why-? Oh… that's why. Charlie coughed and vomited.

"Ew…" Louisa pulled a face, retrieving a bucket from under the kitchen sink. She pressed it into Charlie's hands before grabbing a damp cloth and mopping up what she could. "He's stayin' off." She said stubbornly.

"Obviously." Leo sighed.

* * *

Charlie didn't mind the sick day- except for the sick part. His mom wasn't letting him move from the sofa. Leo was out working most of the day, only returning at lunch for an hour. Charlie was feeling a bit better by then, thanks to the nectar, but he found he couldn't stay on his feet for long without a wave of dizziness hitting him and making him fall over.

Mikey came over that afternoon for a surprise visit. Charlie had always liked Mikey because he remembered more about his, Dylan's, Connor's and Louisa's time in school. Hearing about his mother rebelling in her school years and being a hilarious pain in the ass was the second best stories Charlie liked hearing about. The best stories were all demigod adventures.

"Mike, what're ya doin' here?"

"Leo said he was working and that you might need some company." Mikey grinned. "You hold onto that one, Lou."

"Yeah, OK, Mike." Louisa walked back into her home. Mikey followed closing the door behind him. She prodded Charlie awake- he had fallen asleep on the sofa. "Mikey's here, get up."

"Mikey?" Charlie smiled sitting up. Mikey held his arms out, grinning. "Dude!" Charlie grinned. He didn't jump up, but managed to get up carefully and stumbled into Mikey's hug.

"I think you've gotten taller." Mikey held him at arm's length. "Nah."

"Such a confidence booster." Charlie smiled. Mikey ruffled his hair.

"Made anything lately?"

"I made an automaton owl, but when it flew, the feathers started to fall off. Dad said he was going to help me fix it on Saturday."

"Can I see?" Charlie nodded and left to get the owl from his room. "Lou, can I get a coffee?" Mikey called.

"No!"

"Aw, what?"

"Ya want a coffee, ya make it yaself."

"Such a kind person." Mikey grumbled and sat down as Charlie returned, unsteady on his feet. Charlie sat down and held the owl out. "Oh wow." Mikey took it carefully, but three fine metal feathers fell. "Oops, sorry." Mikey picked the feathers up and sat next to his adoptive nephew.

"No, it's OK." Charlie replied, smiling.

"How'd you make this then? And it flies?" Mikey tested the weight of the owl automaton. "How?"

"The feathers are light and aerodynamic, like Daedalus' wings, and the body's streamlined. It's a bit heavy, but the full wingspan can catch enough air to keep it in the air." Charlie went on to explain how his owl worked. Leo had told him that he could correct the owl's vision so that its eyes adjusted to day and night and could narrow in on missing items, like car keys and wallets. The automaton's claws were going to be in the owl's control and Leo was going to help Charlie develop a sensor mechanism to place in the owl's artificial intelligence mind. The owl could fly, pick up, land and attack depending on the situations it assessed.

Charlie paused. "The only problem is that I don't know how to keep the wings together."

"Well, your dad sounds pretty smart if he can do all that eye, mind and claw thing. I'm sure the wing problem is a piece of cake."

"Cake… Mama?"

"What'd ya want?" Louisa asked with a smile, glancing up from her doodle pad.

"Have we got any cake?"

"Ya supposed ta be ill."

"I know, but Mikey said 'cake' and now I want some." Louisa sent a half-lethal glare at Mikey, who smiled sheepishly.

"If ya want cake, Mikey can go 'n' get some."

"Can we make one?" Louisa looked at Charlie pointedly. "Oh, right. No burning the apartment down. Got it." Charlie looked at his uncle. "Mikey, you know you're so awesome…"

"Can I get you a cake?"

"Please?" Charlie begged.

"Mmm… what kind?"

"Chocolate!"

"Just like ya dad." Louisa muttered.

"Is he allowed cake?"

"No. He's ill."

"Mama!" Charlie protested, finding the energy to bounce up and sit on the other sofa next to her. His head was spinning, but he pushed it aside. "Wow, you can draw." She had drawn the interior of Camp Jupiter's temple for Neptune. "Did you draw that from memory?"

"Uh… mostly."

"That's so cool!" Charlie studied the picture for a few seconds. "I can't draw like that."

"Takes practise."

"Can Mikey get me cake?"

"Only if ya quiet for the next five minutes."

"No speaking?"

"No speakin'. No stupid noises. No nothin'." Charlie mimed zipping his lips shut, locking them and throwing away the key. Louisa watched him carefully. A second later he got up and went to find the key.

"He's a strange child."

"Takes after his dad." Charlie pointed at his mother accusingly.

"And you." Mikey translated, smiling. Charlie nodded, setting his curly hair bouncing. "Five minutes is a bit long for him, Lou."

"Yeah." She checked her watch. "He's got four 'n' a half minutes left." Charlie sat down on the floor where he was, sulking. "Ya can sulk all ya like- I ain't shortenin' the time."

* * *

An hour later, Charlie had his chocolate cake and the bliss of talking again.

"Save some for ya dad." Louisa commented. "He'll go nuts."

"He's already nuts." Charlie smiled.

Randomly, Nickleback _Rockstar_ filled the living room. Mikey rummaged in his pocket and retrieved his Sony Xperia J **(the phone I've got :P)**

A grin crossed Mikey's features.

"Him or her?" Louisa asked.

"Him." Mikey grinned.

"How's it goin'?"

"We're going to see a film later." Mikey must have noticed Charlie's confused expression and his grin turned into a kind smile. "Date."

"With a guy?" Mikey gave a nod. "I thought you had a girlfriend though."

"She dumped me when she found out I was bi. She said she had trust issues with bi people."

"Bi…"

"Problem?"

"No… just didn't know." Charlie smiled.

"So, you don't care about people being gay?"

"Or partially gay in Mikey's case?" Louisa added.

"Joe's gay." Charlie said without thinking, covering his mouth quickly as if to take back the words. Both adults stared at him.

"Joe as in the Joe that forgot ta share the freshly baked cookies?" Louisa asked. Charlie nodded tentatively. "Huh. Didn't see that comin'."

"I wasn't supposed to say anything." Charlie mumbled from behind his hands. Louisa waved it off.

"I ain't gonna tell no-one, kid." She glared at Mikey.

"Wait; let me put that on Facebook." Mikey said sarcastically. Louisa rolled her eyes, getting up from where she sat to sit next to her son.

"Relax," She told him, placing a motherly arm around his shoulders. "Joe's gonna tell us 'n' everyone when he's ready. He told you 'cos he can trust you." Charlie lowered his hands.

"He told me first."

"So he really trusts you."

"His dad won't like it."

"Well then, his dad can take a runnin' jump."

"You're so kind, Lou."

"Yeah, I know." Louisa hugged Charlie tightly. "We won't say anythin', promise."

"Thanks Mama." She smiled. Mikey cleared his throat. "Thanks Mikey."


	8. Come on, Charlie, kick ass

"Charlie, are you OK?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You never wear hats." Charlie looked around nervously, pulling the cap over his eyes. "Is someone after you?"

"Mmm…" Charlie hummed indecisively. "Crazy people want to kill me."

"Nothing new." His friends were about to ask him more questions when two men stalked past. They weren't teachers or any other staff that they were aware of and it wasn't just them casting funny looks at the two men.

"OK, what is going on?" Kara demanded.

"Crazy people want to kill me." Charlie repeated, mumbling and keeping wary eyes on the two men who were ten feet away and scanning all the faces of the kids around them.

"Real crazy people that want to really kill you?" Charlie nodded. "Why? What'd you do?"

"I'll explain later." Charlie bit his lip nervously.

"Why don't you go and hide?"

"I am hiding."

"Somewhere better." Carly defined. Charlie glanced round.

"There!" Charlie cursed in another language- it wasn't the Spanish curses they were used, it was something else. One of the men readied a spear and hurled it. Charlie ducked and it thudded into the locker.

"Yeah, hide." Kara breathed, staring at the spear with wide, terrified eyes.

"Charlie Valdez!" The second man held a spear at the ready. Charlie turned and ran for it. The spear narrowly missed his ear. It would have skewered a kid in a higher grade had it not been for Charlie's ADHD reflexes. He grabbed the spear from the air, flipped it and hurled it straight back. The first man- Luke- sliced it out of the air with Backbiter and then he and Harvey were sprinting after him.

Seeing Charlie running from people wielding swords, the students hurried to the edges of the corridors, creating a pathway. It was much easier to run through them, but left Charlie an open target.

A third spear- or _pila_- skimmed past him. Charlie skidded to a halt and turned right, sprinting again. He turned another corner and was met with two people also armed with swords that he hadn't seen before. One was a Hispanic woman who could have aged between late thirties and mid-forties. She had bleached blonde hair and pale green eyes. She was armed with a spear and a round shield. The other was a man, really tall and muscular, armed with a wicked, double-headed battle-axe. He had black hair, but in comparison to Charlie's mother's hair, it wasn't that dark. His grey eyes were cold and merciless, pale and unnerving.

Charlie's locker was right there. It had a watch in that was similar to his mother's, except he got a shield from it. He wasn't the best with weapons, but he could use a knife OK if he had to.

"Hi." Charlie tried. They levelled their weapons at him. "Um, who are you?" He ran at Charlie, swinging the battle-axe. Charlie ducked and rolled between the man's legs. The woman stabbed with her spear at him, but he twisted and she missed. Charlie grabbed her shield, wrenching it from her arm. He held it up as the axe was bought down on his head, jumping up and throwing his weight against it. The man staggered back a few steps, giving Charlie enough time to slam the shield into the woman's stomach. He threw the shield at the man in Captain America style before making a run for it.

He managed to get out onto the grounds. There were quite a few students out here and they all looked at him quizzically.

Charlie hastily scanned the grounds, noticing a tall willow tree. He darted towards it as the doors behind him were kicked open, all four of his opponents bursting out.

They spotted him almost instantly. By then, he was ten feet from the tree, thirty or so paces from them. A spear thudded into the ground next to him. Charlie dodged around it and cleared the low wall surrounding the gardens. He reached the thick tree trunk and grabbed a knot in the wood, starting to climb.

By the time they reached Charlie, he was fifteen feet up and still climbing. A spear shot past him, disturbing a few birds. Charlie continued scaling the branches with the agility he had inherited from his ninja mother.

He looked down to see where his opponents were. They were trying to climb the tree as well, but they weren't as light or as agile as him and were struggling.

Charlie looked back up, wishing he hadn't looked down. He was nearly thirty feet up and the thought made him queasy. He was also running out of stable and strong branches.

There was a faint whizz and then a cry of pain from below. Charlie, sat on a branch facing the tree trunk, glanced down. Luke had fallen, an arrow buried deeply in his side. Another arrow thudded and struck the woman dead in the chest, sending an electric pulse through her. She screamed and fell, landing heavily next to Luke. Harvey and the other guy shifted close to the tree, Harvey muttering incantations to deflect arrows.

Charlie looked round as a shadow passed by.

"Mom! Dad!" He beamed.

"Hey, Curls." Louisa smiled grimly, reaching for an arrow for her bow. Leo gave him a reassuring smile, his arms around Louisa's waist as to not fall off Storm.

"Try a sonic arrow." Leo suggested. Louisa nodded and loaded her bow. She aimed at Harvey and loosed. It exploded on contact with his magic shield, but the piercing shriek knocked the magic away and pained the two opponents so much, they tumbled to the ground.

Well, Harvey did.

The other guy seemed to control trees, finding hand- and foot-holds that weren't originally there when Charlie was climbing.

"Climb down the other side 'n' get ta the principal's office." Louisa told him. Charlie nodded, skirting around the tree. He managed to get down and run past the fallen enemies before Luke got up, pulling the arrow from his side as if it were a mere thorn.

* * *

**I'm practising fight scenes to try and get this chapter on Leo's settled down done for you lot so I can start working on it in an attempt to rewrite and shorten it. If I can, I'll finish this fight scene tomorrow. It depends if I can come up with anything as I kind of rambled away from the original idea when the 'unknown' characters showed up. Who knows who they are? **

**I'm also trying to work on the new Tophia fic, but no luck so far unless I used a time skip, but I didn't think a time skip so early in the story would be good. What'd you guys think?**


	9. Come on Lou, kick ass

Charlie hadn't meant to run into Sage. Like, literally _run into_ Sage, but he didn't expect her to walk out of a classroom.

They were sprawled on the floor, Sage spewing curses at him.

"Sorry!" Charlie sat up. "Crazy people want to kill me!" He liked that sentence.

"Genuine crazy people want to genuinely kill you or are you just saying that?"

"Genuine." Sage sighed and shook her head. Charlie scrambled up and pulled her to her feet. "Why do they always come after me? You're smarter- you could be more of a weapon if they put those brains of yours to good use."

"Don't give them any ideas, Curls." Sage dusted herself down. "Where are they?" Charlie opened his mouth to answer, but a tell-tale whistle caught his attention and he ducked instinctively. Ducking didn't help though as the spear head dragged across his upper leg, leaving a burning and jagged gash gushing blood.

Charlie bit his lip, holding back a curse and keeping his reactive fire under control. Sage dragged him into the classroom behind her and shoved a chair under the door handle. It was one of the Science labs.

Sage grabbed the first aid kit from the bracket on the wall and threw it on the counter next to Charlie. He had sat down on a stool, his hands around his wound. He was grimacing.

"I don't have any nectar or ambrosia." Sage explained, her tone implying an apology.

"I've got some in my locker." Charlie replied through gritted teeth. Sage ripped the trouser leg and carefully cleaned the wound. Charlie whimpered in pain. Normally, Sage would tease him, but she was focusing on cleaning and bandaging the wound.

Somebody threw their weight against the door, making them jump.

"Charlie Valdez!"

"See, they're after me. Why are they never after you?"

"I'm lovable."

"No, I'm lovable. You're a nerdy bookworm." She sent him a half-hearted glare, dabbing at the wound harshly. Charlie cursed her in Spanish, grimacing. Thankfully, her Spanish was basic as well as rusty, so she had no idea what he said. He relished in that small factor he could parade over her later.

Being careful now, Sage propped his leg up on another stool so she could wrap a bandage around the wound.

That somebody was at the door again, attempting to kick the door down. The chair holding it in place rattled. "Sage…"

"I'm trying, keep still."

"No… not that…" She glanced up and noticed he was taking slow, steady breaths.

"Oh gods… Charlie, I'm not fire-proof. Hold it."

"I'm trying…"

"Try harder- you're heating up already." Charlie nodded. One day he will get the hang of this control and be as much of an expert as his father.

Sage finished bandaging the wound when the door was kicked in. The chair skidded away as the door slammed into the wall with a threatening thud. The guy with the axe glowered smugly at them. Sage drew her knives while Charlie pushed himself up, wincing when he put his weight on his leg.

"So, what's your name?" Charlie smiled, going for easy but probably ended up grimacing. The man regarded him, drawing a smaller axe out of thin air. He hurled it at Charlie's head.

Sage pulled Charlie down, making him curse her again in Spanish as pain shoot through his leg like lightning.

"Sorry…" Sage breathed, flicking a knife at their opponent. "Is anybody here?"

"I've seen Mom and Dad, but they're probably dealing with the other three."

"Damn right." The man sneered.

"Oh, it talks." Sage criticised. He snarled at them, charging forward. Sage dragged her cousin out of harm's way as the giant battle-axe cleaved a solid desk in two.

"Note to self- stay away from axe." Charlie mumbled.

"You think?!" Sage heaved him to his feet and they ran (or limped quickly, in Charlie's case) out of the room. "Where's your locker?" Sage demanded.

"Mom said to go to the principal's office."

"Oh, duh- stupid Sage, stupid…"

"Why do we have to go there?"

"He's a son of Athena."

"He is?" Sage nodded. "That makes him your uncle." Sage pulled a face.

"Shut up, Charlie."

"I'm just saying." Sage glanced over her shoulder. With Charlie injured, they were moving too slow. The big man had loosed another spear. Sage could only shove Charlie out of harm's way, darting to the side as the spear impaled the wall. "Ok, now it hurts more." The bandage was already soaked with blood, the stain spreading. Charlie seemed pale and dazed. He was sitting up against the lockers- Sage figured she had pushed him over in an attempt to save his life. "Why can't they go after you? Just once, why can't they just do that and leave me alone?"

"Personally, I think it's entertaining."

"It's painful."

"Stop being such a wimp." Charlie was finally stunned into silence, struggling to come forth with some protesting reply.

By then, the big man was raising his axe, ready to carve Sage in two. She threw her knife at him. He dodged to the left, the blade skimming his right ear. His balance had been thrown off, giving Sage time to dart to a safer distance.

Charlie spotted his locker three feet from where he was. With an injured leg, three feet was like three miles. The corridor had quickly cleared of students when a big, muscular guy swinging a giant axe around like crazy had turned up.

"Charlie!" He looked up. Three people were running towards him, two behind them. He noticed a burst of fire behind his three friends and recognised his parents. Louisa had loaded her bow and fired at the big guy. An arrow containing knock-out gas exploded in his face while two more arrows burst and threw out weighted nets, weighing him down. His axe was out of his reach and he was unconscious in seconds.

Joe, Kara and Carly had reached him.

"What is going on?" Kara demanded angrily.

"I told you I'll explain later." He held his hands up. "Little help please."

"What'd you do to your leg?" Charlie opened his mouth to reply, but Carly cut across.

"He'll explain later."

Joe pulled Charlie to his feet and let the smaller boy lean on him. Joe cast him a worried look when he noticed the abnormally high temperature of Charlie's skin, but he didn't say anything.

Charlie reached his locker and spun in the code. He grabbed the pouch of ambrosia he kept at the back and ate a square. The pain in his leg eased and he managed to stand on his own. He didn't feel as light-headed.

"Oh, where in Hades is it?" Charlie grumbled to himself, rummaging through his locker frantically. He had a small bag of spheres that caused a lot of disruption and confusion. He could do with those.

"Charlie, what happened to your leg?" Glancing round, Charlie saw his father.

"I've had ambrosia." Leo's worried expression relaxed. "Where's Mom?"

"Well…" Leo turned. Charlie followed his gaze. The other baddies had turned up. Charlie saw his beloved mama running towards them, her bow and quiver of arrows gone.

"Is she gonna kick ass?" Charlie asked excitedly. Leo chuckled.

Louisa was running straight at Luke, who appeared to be torn between being stunned and challenging. He discarded Backbiter- bad choice- and raised his fists. Louisa ducked his first swing and landed a heavy punch to his solar plexus. While he doubled up, she kneed him in the face. Harvey darted forward, taking a whack at her. Louisa dodged it by pouncing forward and kicking Luke away. Harvey grabbed her from behind, pinning her arms to her side as his female colleague readied her spear to skewer Louisa.

The daughter of Poseidon twisted sharply, her feet firmly on the floor. Harvey was dragged into firing range, the spear going through his side and out the other. His arms went slack and Louisa freed herself. The woman with the spear was carried forth on momentum, giving Louisa the chance to punch her solidly in the face. Harvey crumpled to the floor as the woman staggered away, freeing her spear in the process. It was bloody and dripping with gore, but Louisa didn't seem to care.

Luke ran at Louisa, who had his back to him. Leo ran forward and tackled Luke, setting his arms on fire. Luke struggled against him, cautious of the red-hot flames- "Why is your dad on fire?" Carly asked, thoroughly gobsmacked. While the men tried to strangle each other, rolling about the floor and throwing the occasional punch, there was the world's most violent cat-fight going on three feet from where they battled.

The woman jabbed at Louisa's head. Louisa ducked to the right, grabbed the spear and yanked it away. She threw it aside, bunching her fists. The woman did the same and they ran at each. Louisa grabbed the woman's wrist and spun on the spot, flipping her over her shoulder. The woman landed heavily, her arm still in Louisa's grip. She twisted and was in a half-crouch, half-crawl position. She tried to knock Louisa off her feet with a judo sweep, but Louisa kneed her in the face. The woman didn't get to fall away as Louisa had an iron-grip on her. The woman was jerked to her feet, blood pouring from her nose. Louisa let go and swiftly roundhouse kicked her opponent in the stomach. The villain stumbled away, not getting the chance to offer self-defence as Louisa stormed forward, delivering punch after punch, kick after kick.

Finally, the woman went down; bruised, broken and bleeding.

Louisa looked round to see her husband wrestling with Luke. They were evenly matched in combat. Fire was curling around Luke, leaving scalding, white-hot burns.

"Do it again!" Charlie laughed from where he was sitting. His leg had decided to hate on him and crippling pain had left him stranded on the floor, surrounded by his three friends and bookworm cousin. Louisa looked at him quizzically, an amused smile playing on her lips.

She drew a knife and grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall. As easily as slicing through butter, she sliced the top third clean off the fire extinguisher. Water shot out like a geyser, slamming into Leo and Luke with the force of a charging Minotaur. Leo's fire instantly went out and he stumbled to a safer distance as his chica channelled the water to thunder down mercilessly on the blonde and traitorous son of Hermes.

Leo rubbed warmth back into his arms until Louisa strolled over. She had bought the heavy butt of the fire extinguisher down on Luke's head. There had been a sickening crunch of bone and Luke had slumped to the floor, as lifeless as a rag doll.

She took his hand and he was dry instantly. Leo had a fire burn in his hands to warm himself.

"Can you explain what's going on now?" Joe mumbled. The girls looked at Charlie.

"Yes. Please explain- right now."

"Let me look at his leg first." Leo and Louisa appeared next to them. "Who bandaged it?"

"I did." Sage replied. "I had about fifteen seconds, so it's not the best first-aid job."

"For a first-aid job in fifteen seconds, yes it is." Sage smiled weakly as Leo carefully unravelled the bandages from around Charlie's injury. "Holy Hephaestus, that's a deep cut." Louisa crouched next to him, studying the wound for herself. "It doesn't look like he's had any arteries or veins cut though, so given time and ambrosia he should be fine."

"I could heal it." Louisa offered. They heard approaching footsteps. "But we should really get 'em home first." Leo nodded in agreement, hurriedly bandaging the wound again. He picked Charlie up easily in his arms. "You lot," Louisa looked at Charlie's friends, "You're comin' home with us."

"But-" Carly started. Louisa's expression hardened.

"We don't have the bloody time to argue! Move it!"

"Mom, be nice." Charlie smiled. Louisa sighed.

"She's gone three weeks without beating anybody up." Leo half-turned to look at his wife and smiled at her. "I take it beating the crap out of four people isn't enough?"

"No it bloody well ain't."

* * *

Charlie was relaxing on the sofa at home with newer, but rapidly blood-stained dressings on his leg. Kara was in the armchair with Joe leaning against her legs while Carly was pacing the living room.

"Carly, sit down, _please_." Charlie begged. "All that walking around is making me tired. And dizzy." He added. She glowered at him. "Look, I've explained, Mom and Dad have explained and if you don't believe us, then there're going to be some problems."

"Charlie, the Greek and Roman gods are _myths_."

"They get offended if you call them that."

"They can't get offended if they're not real!"

"OK, so Dad spontaneously combusting, Greek weapons and Mom controlling water isn't enough proof for you?"

"Make one of these gods appear then!" Carly snapped.

"It's not that easy, girly." Louisa walked out of the kitchen, carrying a mixing bowl of water with a clean, white cloth draped over the edge. "See, my dad's usually busy keepin' the whole sea in check 'n' Leo's dad ain't the most sociable of people."

"What about the other _gods_ then?"

"Hermes will probably be doin' his messenger job thing, Apollo will be writin' haikus, Artemis would be out 'n' about with the Hunters, Demeter will be screamin' at everyone 'bout the importance of cereal, while Zeus 'n' Hera argue over who ate the last cookie. Ares will be out somewhere with Aphrodite. Athena ain't that keen on me seein' as she hasn't got on with my dad in forever, so I doubt she'll drop everythin' 'n' come runnin' ta help me make mere mortals understand what's goin' on. Dionysus is sulking at Camp with a Diet Coke 'n' playin' pinochle." Carly, Kara and Joe stared at her as if she had gone mad. "What? You did ask."

"You didn't have to be so blunt, chica." Leo laughed, walking in with a tray of hot drinks- two coffees and five hot chocolates. "Where'd Sage go?"

"She's in the bathroom." Charlie replied through gritted teeth as Louisa started to remove the dressing.

Noticing his distress, Louisa smiled warmly.

"I'll get ya choccie cake later, yeah?" Charlie's mood brightened.

"OK. Thanks Mama." Her smile brightened. She picked up the damp cloth and pressed it on his leg. Charlie gasped in pain, covering his mouth quickly.

"What are you doing?" Kara asked, leaning forward in her seat. Louisa gave a knowing smile over her shoulder. Leo set the tray down on the coffee table, motioning for them to help themselves. Joe jumped in and grabbed the mug of hot chocolate with the most marshmallows.

"Gods, Charlie, you're such a wimp." Sage laughed teasingly, walking down the stairs.

"Shut up, Sage." Charlie said from behind his hand, his voice muffled.

Louisa finally removed the cloth. It was dripping with water and blood, but she seemed pleased. Carly nearly passed out in shock. Charlie's injury had been reduced to nothing but a scar that could have been there for years.

"Why won't that heal?" Louisa mumbled to herself.

"It's OK." Charlie assured. "It's not bleeding and it doesn't hurt anymore. I can live with a scar."

"You're goin' ta have to." Louisa smiled. She turned to Carly, who was wide-eyed and gobsmacked. "Believe us yet?" She smirked.

* * *

**Woo! I made this up on the spot and it is all grammatically correct, according to Word. I feel so pleased with myself. **


	10. The power of Charlie Valdez

"Charlie Valdez, my office, right now. Get this god forsaken unicorn off my laptop!" The tannoy went dead as the class burst into peals of laughter. Charlie stood and bowed, grinning. His classmates played along and gave a round of applause. Their science teacher bobbed Charlie gently on the head with a textbook and shooed him out of the classroom.

The principal was torn between annoyance and amusement as Charlie knocked and entered his office. "I keep my laptop well away from you. How did you do it?"

"Ah, sir, that would be telling." Charlie smiled sweetly. "How'd you know it was me, anyway?"

"Mmm, let me think about that." The principal said sarcastically. "How many other kids hack a teacher's laptop with a unicorn dancing to the 'My Little Pony' theme song with rainbows and fairies in the background?"

"I was going to add a leprechaun with his pot of gold, but Joe stopped me." The principal glared at him half-heartedly. "And yes, I will get the unicorn off your laptop or I think you're going to kill me." The principal directed Charlie to his seat behind the desk. Charlie noticed the phone to his right. It was labelled 'tannoy'.

Smirking, he snatched it up, blocking the principal's hand with his free hand. "Due to extreme measures of insanity, Mr. Brooks has made me, the lovely Charlie Valdez, principal. School's over!"

"Charlie Valdez, put that phone down!" The principal hissed.

"No, it's mine. It's mine, mine, mine and _mine_." A timid knock on the door broke up their battle for the phone. The secretary poked her head round.

"Is everything OK?"

"Oh, it's Charlie. I highly doubt that anything is OK with this kid around."

"You do know the whole school can hear you, right?"

"Why are you so annoying?!"

"I'm a dragon, hear me roar." The principal clamped a hand over Charlie's mouth, removed the phone and noisily replaced it in the receiver.

Sighing, he regained his composure.

"I want that unicorn gone or you will be in three weeks of detention."

"Sir, yes sir." Charlie gave a cheeky salute and started working.

Silently, he made it his goal to see how far he could push the principal that week.

* * *

"Valdez. Office. Now."

"YES!" Charlie punched the air triumphantly. "I," He told his classmates, "have broken the school record of how many times one of us lovely students have been sent to the principal's office in a week."

"Woo." Joe sighed, smiling. Charlie bopped him on the head. "Wait, what's the record?"

"Right now, fifteen. And it's only the morning!" Charlie bounced out of the room.

"What did you do?" Somebody called after him.

"I'm guessing he hacked the school system and changed his report to 'Charlie is the best student we have ever had- hearts, kisses and rainbow pegicorns."

"Pegicorns?"

"Yeah, half unicorn, half Pegasus."

"Oh…"

"And back to work." The teacher said briskly.

* * *

"Tell me how you managed that."

"No can do, sir." Charlie smiled easily. "Hey, what's this?" Charlie groaned in horror. "Oh no, we are not having an assembly."

"Yes, you are."

"No, no, no… Look, I'll tell you, just call off the assembly."

"No, this one is important."

"Please tell me it is ever so slightly interesting?"

"Fire safety. First aid. Health and safety. Road safety. That sort of thing."

"I like how you said 'fire safety' first, sir."

"You should pay careful attention then, considering what happened in your old school."

"That was an accident, sir, you know that." The principal knew about Charlie's godly heritage, being a son of Athena himself. "And you said you wouldn't bring that up." The principal ruffled his hair, like everyone did.

"Very sorry." He smiled.

"No you're not." Charlie muttered. He rubbed at his forearm before continuing with his work. The principal frowned, having noticed that Charlie rubbed at his right forearm a lot recently.

"Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I'm just… my fire's been a bit iffy lately. Don't worry though, I've got this." Charlie gave a reassuring smile. "OK, done."

"If you hack my laptop again, I will… I can't say kill you. I'll think of something. You won't like it."

"Mm-hm." Charlie nodded, smirking knowingly.

"Right, you've done your bit, back to lessons."

"I'm going, I'm going."

* * *

In the assembly later, Charlie was sat at the back with Joe, Kara and Carly either side of him. He had done his best to pay attention to the fire safety bit, but he quickly realised he knew that stuff already. The first aid bit was basic and he knew that from Apollo's kids at Camp Half-Blood running a first aid course.

At that point, Joe turned to Charlie.

"Do your thing, _please_." He pleaded quietly. Charlie smirked and withdrew his PDA. He unlocked the screen and aimed the camera at the projection on the screen at the front of the hall. Pressing a few more buttons, he slowly hacked his way into the IT support's laptop and started to control it from where he was sat.

His first move was to post a picture of Grumpy Cat. Several cheers went up amongst the laughs. The caption with the picture of Grumpy Cat was: 'I'm glad that I'm on TV…. Now the nation knows that I hate them'. Another picture of Grumpy Cat followed and this caption was: 'I'm judging you… Guilty! Your crime… STUPIDITY!'

The IT support man was trying to regain control of his laptop, but it wasn't working.

Charlie pressed the screen, a blue circle rippling out from his thumb. A blank screen loaded up. Murmurs of confusion rang through the students. Charlie slouched in his seat and started typing.

CHARLIE VALDEZ IS NOW YOUR LEADER. BOW DOWN TO HIS MIGHT OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

That's what's Charlie wanted it to say, but he spelt 'consequences' wrong… Konsekwenses.

"Mr. Valdez, if you think you can give a better assembly, please come up here and do so."

"If I come up there and do that, will you put me in two months' detentions?"

"Three."

"I was close." The principal waved him up. "Aw, I just got comfortable." Charlie slipped his PDA in his pocket and got up. Somebody cheered and a few started clapping. Charlie beamed and waved his hands, encouraging them on.

"Valdez!" The principal warned.

"Ooh, his royal highness beckons the court jester." Charlie bounced over. "Right, what can I do?"

"I want the PowerPoint back and you can carry on the assembly."

"Where'd you leave off?" The principal rolled his eyes.

* * *

"I heard you've been trouble all week."

"Of course." Leo smiled. "Hey, we aren't driving home. Where are we going?"

"Well, Elsie and Alokia are busy tonight; your mom's at Camp Jupiter and I've got to get to Camp Half Blood to help sort out these new demigods that came in. So, you're going to stay with great uncle Frank." Leo beamed, forcing enthusiasm.

"Yay…" Charlie said, with the same mock enthusiasm. "Why Frank? He hates our fire."

"Jason's got praetor duties- something about finding a new praetor and 'retiring'. Piper's with him. Percy and Annabeth have got their hands full with the triplets and Sage. And Hazel loves you, so she was real eager to keep you out of trouble."

"What about Dylan, Mike and Connor?"

"Dylan is working, weirdly; Mike has a date with someone I can't remember and Connor is ill."

"Fair enough. Let's go and annoy Frank." He grinned. Leo beamed in pride.

* * *

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no."

"Unki Frankie!" Charlie laughed, jumping forward and hugging his muscular uncle. Frank patted him on the back awkwardly. Leo was grinning proudly, much to Frank's annoyance.

"Charlie, let him go."

"Hi, Hazel." Charlie smiled, freeing Frank and walking into Hazel's hug.

"Right, no trouble, OK?" Leo warned. "Your mom's going to pick you up about eight." Charlie gaped.

"That's way past my bedtime!" Leo blinked at him.

"You've lost it. You go to bed at nine, if you can be bothered to get off your ass at night."

"Fall asleep on the sofa _one time_ and you don't shut up about it." Leo ruffled his hair.

"Wouldn't dare. Thanks again." He smiled at Hazel and Frank.

"It's nothing. We love having him over!" Hazel beamed, looping her arm around Charlie's shoulders.

"Considering he doesn't set fire to the living room." Frank added quietly.

"It wasn't the living room. It was a bit of paper!" Charlie protested.

"I have chocolate cake." Hazel bribed. Charlie brightened and bounced away to the kitchen. He turned at the last second, waved at his father before disappearing into the kitchen. The adults heard him raiding the kitchen.

"Good luck." Leo smirked.

* * *

**OK, this is just a filler chapter. Sorry :D **


	11. Bunker 9

"Charlie, get down." Leo laughed.

"Nope." Charlie said happily. Leo had taken him to Bunker 9 for the first time in _ages_ as a late birthday treat. Charlie remembered why he love this place so much with all its old inventions, blue-prints, tools and everything he and Leo would need to make something explo- uh, very cool and epic. Not explosive at all. _At all_.

Charlie was currently climbing up the rope ladder to check out the Argo II. He had heard a lot about it, noticing his dad was upset that the ship no longer got used anymore, but he didn't really get to go up there, considering his dad wouldn't let him- "You'll fall off the ladder." But Charlie got to admire the ship from the outside, his favourite part of the ship being the figure head- Festus. "Dad, can we fix Festus?"

"We can try." Charlie jumped and turned round, startled. He hadn't noticed Leo had followed him. "Easy to get lost up here, Charlie. Want the Leo Valdez tour?" Charlie grinned and nodded eagerly.

Munching on tofu burgers that Leo cooked on a fire in his hand, Charlie was shown around the ship, falling more in love with it the more he saw of it.

"Could it still fly?" He asked. Leo glanced around.

"Maybe. I'll need to check the engine assembly over and there'll be loads of other work to get done." Leo glanced at him. "I thought you wanted to fix Festus."

"We could do both!" Charlie beamed. Leo grinned.

"Festus first then." Leo walked Charlie back to Festus, telling him about how cool the dragon was before he crashed. Charlie was a good listener, asking about the quest Festus helped Leo, Jason and Piper on. By then, they had reached the control room.

"Want to meet Festus?"

"Meet him? Really?" Leo nodded, moving to stand in front of the control panel.

"The poor guy's been sleeping for years." Leo muttered, pressing a few buttons, picking up a Wii remote and waving it about. Festus creaked and cranked, turning his head from side to side. There were some clicks. "Hey, bud. How you doing?" There was another series of clicks which Charlie recognised as the Morse code his father had been teaching him. He didn't understand what Festus was saying completely. "Yeah, I'm sorry, but look. New friend." Leo gestured at Charlie. Festus clicked again. "I know he looks like me, he's my son. And he wants to help make you a new body." Festus blew smoke and whirred happily. "I thought you'd like that." Leo grinned. He turned to Charlie. "Come on then, brainbox. We need plans to get started."

"I was thinking he could be red." Charlie said, flicking his fingers at Festus as if splattering him with red paint.

"Red?"

"Mom's favourite colour is red."

"I know, but he's a metal dragon."

"Cars are metal. Ish. They can be spray painted. We could do the same for Festus." Festus sent out a series of clicks.

"He wants red wings and claws. That's about as red as he'll let you make him."

"He's gonna stop me?"

"He breathes fire."

"Naturally."

* * *

They worked the whole day in the Bunker, drawing up various plans. Leo did his best to recall Festus's previous body and internal mechanism, but it wasn't easy. He managed to get Festus's head down though and it now sat on the floor next to the table they were working on, whirring and clicking and offering his ideas. He wanted to be a super cool dragon that would attract all the ladies.

"You're a dragon named Happy. I don't think that's going to work." Festus puffed smoke in Leo's face and clicked some more. "No, we're not changing your name to that."

"To what?" Charlie asked.

"Supreme Dragon Lord." Charlie grinned.

"It suits him." Festus creaked in agreement and it seemed he was smiling.

"Festus the Supreme Dragon Lord?" Charlie nodded and Festus whirred happily. "Fine." Leo sighed. He moved around the Festus head and opened a compartment door. Festus whirred into sleep, his eyes dimming.

"What are you doing, Dad?"

"Sorting out his brain. We need some new parts though."

"Are you sorting his brain out 'cos he asked to change his name to Festus the Supreme Dragon Lord?" Leo smiled.

"No."

"Liar."

"OK, maybe a bit, but still. Upgrades!" Leo grinned.

"Upgrades!" Charlie returned the grin enthusiastically, waving his hands around crazily. Leo shook his head, smiling.

By the afternoon, Charlie had found new places while on the hunt for scraps and various bits of technology to use for the computer system and Festus's A.I chip. Eventually he got lost.

"Dad!"

"Charlie? Where the hell did you go?"

"Um…" Charlie glanced around, shifting his hold on the box of parts. "Where are you?"

"Where you left me." Leo replied. Charlie had a mental image of his father rolling his eyes. Charlie slowly padded forward, wishing he had paid more attention to his surroundings so he could back-track in moments like this.

Charlie simply wandered around aimlessly before the Argo II's hulk came into view. He headed towards that as his father called for him again. Charlie made to reply when he studied what was in his box. Smirking, he moved around silently.

His father's ship was suspended off the ground on massive supports, leaving a metre gap that someone as small and scrawny as Charlie could crawl under and hide. He hastily settled in the shadows and sat down, rummaging through the box and studying the parts.

* * *

Leo hadn't explored all of the Bunker. He wasn't sure if that was possible, but now Charlie was lost somewhere in the vast extent of it. "Charlie! Charlie, where are you? If I've lost you, your mom's gonna kill me!"

"Damn right I will." Leo turned.

"Uh, hey chica." He smiled sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. Louisa held two large shopping bags.

"Where's Charlie?" She demanded.

"He went off to look for parts to fix Festus and… he got lost and I don't know where he is now." Louisa sighed, shoving the bags onto the table, effectively barging everything else out of the way. "What's in those?"

"Well, I was bein' nice, like I am," Leo gave her a disbelieving look, which she ignored, "'N' I bought ya both lunch 'n' coffee, but ya've lost Charlie so ya ain't gettin' any." Leo stuck his bottom lip out, sulking. "Find Charlie though 'n' I might change my mind."

"Yeah, you're so unbelievably nice; I dropped down dead in shock."

"Don't say that." She grimaced. Leo gave her a reassuring smile, holding his arms out to her. She smirked and shook her head.

"What? Why?"

"No hugs or nothin' until Charlie's here."

"Oh, just bribe him with chocolate cake." Leo paused. "You've got some, right?"

"Yeah 'n' ya ain't allowed none."

"Unfair!"

"Life is." She took his hand and led him away. "C'mon, idiot, need ta find that kid of yours."

"Why is it whenever he does something stupid, crazy or remotely entertaining, he's my kid, but when he's being so amazing, charming and just down right lovable, he's yours?" Louisa just gave a knowing smile and carried on walking.

* * *

Charlie heard his parents' voices not far off and looked at the contraption in his hand. It was just a box with wires sticking out of it and lights blinking while a rough horn stuck out the left side. Charlie tucked the wires in at the bottom and welded a sheet of metal to fit with fire from his hand.

"Charlie Michael Valdez, where are ya?" Charlie didn't respond, seeing his parents' lower legs come into view a metre from the Argo II. He checked the surface of the base, happy that it was perfectly smooth before sliding it across the floor with all the strength he could muster. It stopped between his parents. "The hell is that?" Louisa asked.

"Um… Charlie's, I think."

"Where'd it come from?" Before Leo could answer, the horn billowed smoke and the contraption gave a loud, ear-damning and thunderous boom. His parents stumbled away from it, coughing on the stink-bomb scented gas. "CHARLIE!" The smoke was suddenly whipped around and it thinned. A strong sea scent reached him and he realised his mother had conjured up a hurricane to get rid of his smoke.

Leo returned, picking the invention up. "Ooh, let me smash it." Louisa said.

"No, my idea."

"Please?"

"Not this time, chica. You find Charlie."

"Ugh, the kid's a pain in the ass."

"He's your pain in the ass though."

"I blame you." Leo padded away, stopping a metre away where the legs of a workbench were. A four to six pound hammer hung at Leo's side before he swung it up and bought it down on Charlie's new toy with a loud _thud_. Bits of machinery rained down around him.

"Dammit." Leo muttered, moving around to pick up the pieces. Louisa stood behind him, tracing her foot along something on the floor that Charlie couldn't see. She suddenly dropped to her knees and looked under the Argo.

"Found him." She grinned triumphantly.

"Hello Mama." Charlie smiled sweetly.

"Out."

"Never."

"We have cookies and chocolate cake."

"Okay." Charlie scrambled out. He stood next to his mother, grinning broadly. Louisa brushed dust out of his hair before smacking his arm lightly. "Ow." Charlie said anyway, smiling. "Mama, you love me. Why are you so mean?"

"She loves me too, but look at this." Leo gestured at himself and her. "Domestic abuse on a daily basis."

"Aw, poor Daddy." Charlie teased. Leo rolled his eyes, ruffling Charlie's hair. "Where's food?"

* * *

Charlie fell asleep on the way home, curled up in the back seat with a blanket covering him. He had fallen asleep listening to the murmurs of his parents and the sight of them smiling at each other and holding hands. His parents were awesome.

His dream started off nice and lovely- a day trip to the zoo. Elsie and Alokia were with them while Charlie bounced around looking for the monkeys. Having been to this particular zoo countless times before, Charlie was well aware of the layout, but something seemed different. The reptile house was not opposite the monkey cage. And it wasn't right that Leo led Louisa into the reptile house without her fighting or protesting and cursing Leo. She followed her husband as if it were the penguin enclosure and not the home of her biggest fear- snakes.

But Charlie's dream self didn't pay much attention to it. He followed his parents in, flanked by his sisters.

The reptile house looked normal enough, until everything darkened and the temperature dropped drastically. His family vanished along with the other visitors and Charlie was left in a never ending gloomy darkness, pressure increasing on his chest as panic started to settle in.

A close by hissing sound sent shivers down his spine and he tensed. Turning slowly, he came face-to-face with a giant cobra with scarlet eyes. It bared its fangs at him, venom dripping from the talon-sharp tips…

"Charlie!" Charlie cried out in blind panic, reflexively hitting away the hand on his arm. "Charlie, calm down, it's me." Charlie's eyes cleared and he saw his father watching him worriedly. "Are you OK?" Charlie swallowed nervously, his breathing steadying out. His skin prickled with the tell-tale warmth of his fire.

"Nightmare…" Charlie mumbled.

"About?"

"Um…" Charlie glanced over Leo's shoulder and saw his mama watching him with concern matching his father's. She was chewing her lip nervously, standing behind Leo in case Charlie spontaneously combusted.

Charlie noticed that they were home and he felt himself relax further at the familiar sense of security. He noticed that his parents were watching him still.

"We should get him in." Louisa told Leo quietly. Leo nodded, standing back and holding his hand out to Charlie. Taking his father's hand, Charlie noticed he was shaking.

Snakes didn't affect him as much as his mother, but he still didn't like them. Especially if they were huge with glowing red eyes and fangs twice as tall as he was (which wasn't fair).

Breathing in lungs of the crisp night air and sent up a question to his godly grandparents: _What was that about?_

He didn't get a response.


	12. Joe's house

**To scenic97 and in reply to your review on 'Apocalyptic love'- THANK YOU! I have no idea what ACTs are but we did have SATs… I'm going into Year 12 next week (I honestly don't want to but have to) and we do have Year 13 but I think it depends if you go into Sixth Form or College. I'm not sure how it works properly, even if I live here. Teachers don't give straight answers when you need them. With Tobias, I hadn't thought about the rest of the wires, but I will now so if I'm mean about that, I can simply blame you and make my life that little bit easier. I think I've heard of people training for 10-12 hours a day or that might be me going insane and making stuff up again, I'm not sure. Personally, I don't do training. I used to go out and about on the bike for half an hour or so and I mean to start doing that again but it depends on whether or not I can be bothered. You spend three hours in a swimming pool every day? ARE YOU MAD? I like swimming, don't get me wrong, but last time I went swimming, I didn't really want to be there (long story, don't worry) and I only stayed for an hour, not even that. I honestly thought you would compare those three legionaries that were mean to Leo with Dylan, Mikey and Connor, but you didn't! My psychic powers aren't working anymore! Besides, why not make fun of Leo while he's right there? That way he could turn it around and use it as his own sassy and sarcastic weapon. Admittedly, I didn't think about all the different languages. That's confused me now and I'm not sure how to reply to it. Maybe there's bit of other languages floating around but very few are fluent- like the really old people. We are talking about Leo Valdez in a towel here- do you have any idea how annoying he could be with that? Like I said, I'm not much of a swimmer, but it was funny on holiday- there was this balcony overlooking the whole thing and there were some seriously fat people, like,**_** bulging**_** out of their swimsuits. I'm not being mean against fat people or anything; I just have a wicked sense of humour. I don't think Lou's seen Leo in a coffee withdrawal yet, but when/if they get back; she will definitely see it- all that time in the great big Outside and not a single coffee! Leo would have gone mad. I did enjoy my time mostly on holiday/site of 'Apocalyptic love', but I really have to get on with the story otherwise this will be a very long author's note. And for the bit about 'The Lorax'- if you read the first author's note in the first chapter, you will see that I've had this idea for years and it's been developing. This is part of it. And I thought that 'The Lorax' could have been way better than what it was. But the Outside in my story is a bit like the Outside in that movie- all dark, foggy with unsuspecting… uh, things…  
Sea of Monsters is still in cinema- what'd you mean you missed it? GO AND WATCH IT WOMAN! You're mad not to! **

**And did I reply to your last review on Charlie's story? For the life of me, I can't remember… **

**To everyone now- this is Louisa meeting Joe's posh parents… it's going to be fun!**

* * *

"Are you sure Joe lives here?"

"No, it's the next one. Damn dyslexia…" He joked feebly.

"Charlie, there is no next one." Charlie glanced up from glowering at the bit of paper with Joe's new address on. He was a bit surprised to see a great big, three-storey, double front, Victorian style house. A white fence outlined the medium lawn, a crazy-paved path separating the two, neat rectangles of rich green grass.

"They're posh, ain't they?"

"Well, Joe's dad got a new job somewhere doing something and is pretty much rolling in it."

"Leo, we're gonna find that money 'n' borrow some, OK?"

"Good thinking, chica." Leo smiled. Louisa returned it devilishly before looking back at her son.

"I take it I can't kill 'em?"

"No, Mom."

"Dammit…"

"Well, I'm not sitting in the car all day. Let's see how bad Joe's parents are."

"Mom, don't say anything."

"What?" Charlie looked at her pleadingly. "Oh that… no, of course I won't." Relief crossed Charlie's elfish features and he smiled.

"Thanks, Mom."

"What aren't you allowed to say?" Leo asked, frowning in confusion. "Are you planning a prank without me?"

"No." Louisa replied evenly, looking Leo in the eye.

"Then what are you on about?" Louisa glanced at Charlie, who sighed and told his dad about Joe's secret. Leo blinked at him.

"Did not see that one coming…" He mumbled.

"Please don't say anything. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone." Leo gave a reassuring smile.

"We'll be good, Charlie. Now, _come on_- new people to annoy!" Leo jumped out the car and bounced around it, opening the door for Louisa.

"Aw, thanks, Valdez."

They walked up the crazy path, Charlie purposefully not stepping on any cracks. He bounced up the stairs and used the old-fashioned brass knocker styled like a lion to get Joe's parents' attention.

Joe's mother had the same sky blue eyes as Joe but they weren't as warm. They were more calculating and judgemental, studying Louisa with a neutral expression, but wariness and… was that disgust? Louisa frowned. OK, she wasn't the most girly of women and her dress sense was comfortable. Yes, she looked like common scum and she didn't care. While she wore tracksuit bottoms and one of Leo's T-shirts, Joe's mother wore a knee-length white dress with a navy blue cardigan buttoned up over it. She wore opaque black tights and white slip on shoes with blue bows to match her cardigan. Her thick blonde hair was fashioned up in a stylish top knot with sleek strands falling down around her haughty face.

"Hi, Megan." Charlie smiled. "Where's Joe?"

"He is with Kara and Carly in the games room."

"Awesome sauce." Charlie grinned. Megan moved aside and let Charlie bounce through.

"I'm Leo." Leo offered his hand. "This is Louisa."

"Charlie adores the pair of you. He does not stop talking about you." Megan replied smoothly, ignoring Leo's extended hand. Louisa took his hand.

"Are we gonna stand on the doorstep all day or are ya gonna let us in?"

"You may come in." Megan said, turning and returning to her house. Louisa glanced at Leo- _I want to kill her already_.

"Behave, chica." Leo smiled, pulling her inside.

Yes, Joe's dad was definitely 'rolling in it', as Charlie had said. Two curved staircases led upstairs. A magnificent, dark wood circular table with a giant vase of various flowers stood in the centre of the hall. Double doors filled a large arch in between the stairs while the floor leading to it was covered in mosaics of…

"It's Dad. What's he doin' here?" Louisa moved forward to study the mosaic. "That don't even look like him." Leo chuckled, walking up behind and grabbing her shoulders lightly, steering her through the arch, after Megan.

"Don't do anything demigod-ish."

"Well, that ain't fun."

"You cause the most trouble. Just be good, for Charlie."

"I'll try. 'N' stop usin' Charlie as an excuse ta get what ya want."

"Can't help it." Leo smiled. "You'll do anything for your little favourite." She slammed her elbow in his gut, making him double up, winded.

Joe's dad walked past them. He was tall and slimly built with Joe's jet black hair and hazel eyes. His chiselled features and smart casual dress sense would have women pleading him for a little bit of attention, but it was probably his money that attracted them the most. Personally, Louisa thought he looked like a pompous, self-centred idiot, but somehow managed to keep her mouth shut.

"Is he alright?" He asked, glancing Leo over.

"I'm fine." Leo breathed. "She just attacks me from time-to-time, don't you, chica?"

"She attacks you? Should you not have more control over your woman?" Louisa's eyes flashed dangerously. Leo grabbed her hand, forcing her to behave.

"Are you one of those 'women-belong-in-the-kitchen' guys?"

"That is not how I would put it, but yes."

"OK." Leo said, biting back a sigh of annoyance. They had been here two minutes and Louisa already wanted to kill Joe's parents.

* * *

"I wonder how Mom and Dad are getting on." Charlie mused. Kara and Carly laughed while Joe smiled.

"Knowing your mom, she'll have floored Harrison by now." Kara and Joe nodded in agreement. Carly tutted at Joe. "That's your dad we're talking about."

"Daddy issues." Joe responded.

"Still haven't told him?" Charlie asked.

"No." Joe sighed miserably.

"Do it Charlie-style." Charlie smiled. "Stand on the table at dinner and go…" Charlie stood up and cleared his throat, mimicking Joe's voice perfectly. "My name is Josephine Fletcher, I hate my father, I'm standing on the table and I am gay. Have a nice dinner, goodnight." Charlie flopped back down into the bean bag and put his arms behind his head.

"Yeah, I'd get lectured for standing on the table before I even said anything. And my name's not Josephine!"

"Is to me, bud." Charlie grinned casually. There a knock on the door. "Password!" Charlie demanded.

"Found ya."

"Oh, it's you, Mama." Louisa walked in. "You don't normally knock."

"Charlie, where the bloody hell am I? This house is a goddamn maze!"

"No-one gave you the tour?"

"Let's just say his parents don't like me." She nodded at Joe and they all grinned. "Wut?"

"Nothing." Charlie jumped up and took his mom's hand. "You need a tour. Let's go." He looked back at his friends. "Coming?"

"Why not?" Kara grinned, getting up. Carly and Joe followed.

"Hey, where's Dad?"

"Well, Joe's mom thought it'd be a good idea ta have all the moms in one room with horrible music while the dads went outside with the barbeque, which ain't fair."

"Horrible music?"

"Classic."

"Ugh, that is horrible."

"Try living with it." Joe mumbled.

* * *

"And that's the back door."

"In case you need to make an emergency escape with a body in the middle of the night."

"Charlie!" The girls scolded lightly. Louisa and Joe were laughing.

"Come on, girls, you know Mom. Any longer around that lot and there will be blood everywhere…" Charlie suddenly sounded and looked devilish, easily rivalling Hades.

"Right, don't do that again." Carly told him. Charlie's expression turned innocent and angelic. "You're a weird child." Louisa cleared her throat. "You know, in a good way."

"Mm-hm." Louisa hummed. "Where's ya dad?" She asked Charlie.

"Um…" Charlie looked at Joe.

"Patio." He muttered.

"How the hell are you not posh?" Louisa asked, holding Joe's face in her hands. "What are ya? Adopted? Changeling? What?"

"Changeling?" Charlie laughed. "You're as bad as me, Mama."

"Ya didn't think ya got everythin' annoyin' from ya dad, did ya?"

"Well, I did… and then you asked that… not so much anymore." Charlie smiled.

* * *

Leo glanced over his shoulder as arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

"Hello, chica."

"Can we go yet?" She asked in Ancient Greek. Leo's smile broadened.

"No." She pulled a face and hid her face between his shoulders. Leo removed her arms from around him and pulled her to stand in front of him, offering her a cheeseburger. "Just put your headphones in and smile at everyone like you give a damn. You're good at that." She smiled in agreement.

"Louisa!"

"Ugh…" Louisa rested her head on Leo's shoulder. "Hide me." She pleaded.

"This is you versus posh people. You always win, chica. Go and kick ass."

Reluctantly, Louisa returned to the other moms. Joe's, Kara's and Carly's moms were here. Stephanie and Rose were older versions of Carly and Kara- thankfully, they also found Megan irritating, but they were more tolerate of her, unlike Louisa.

Louisa put her headphones in, switched on Hollywood Undead and munched on her cheeseburger. Megan, Stephanie and Rose were sipping white wine and eating chocolate crepes and picking at salad.

* * *

"Woo! I'm the undefeated champion! In your face, Josephine!"

"Will you stop calling me that?!"

"NEVER!"

"Rematch!" Kara demanded.

"Bring it." Charlie dropped the ball in the foosball table, arming himself and smirking at Kara challengingly. Kara returned it and didn't show any mercy this time.

"Come on Kara!" Carly cheered. "Don't get beaten by that midget!"

"Again." Charlie added. He glanced at Joe.

"I'm on Kara's side."

"And there was me thinking you loved me." Charlie smiled. "Everybody loves Charlie Valdez."

"Except Kevin. And when you're on a sugar high."

"I'm not that hyper, honest." Charlie paused. "Not yet anyway."

"Guys aren't supposed to multi-task! How are you talking to Joe and playing this without looking?" Kara demanded, frowning in frustration.

"Mmm… now if I told you that, you'd run for the hills." Charlie smiled at Joe.

"You two are hiding something from us, aren't you? We know Joe's gay, what else is there?" Carly asked.

"You'd run for the hills as we- ow!" Charlie shook his hand, frowning at it.

"What?" Charlie didn't respond, flexing his fingers. Kara gained a sneaky goal, which drew Charlie's attention away from the random burst of pain in his hand.

"You cow."

"Are you OK?" Carly asked, concerned.

"Fine. Hand spasm." Charlie smiled easily. He gained another two goals, bringing the score to three-one to him. "You won't win, Kara."

"I can try."

Charlie decided to stop toying with Kara and just kick butt. He scored another three goals in as many minutes. He only had to get four more and the game was his. Kara was still struggling on one point.

"Kara, don't let us down." Carly warned. "I will disown you if you do."

"I'm trying!"

"Keep trying, sweetheart." Charlie teased. "You'll never be as good as me."

"Sweetheart? You never say 'sweetheart'?" Charlie shrugged, scoring another point.

"Oh, for the love of gods, move."

"Hey, Dad." Kara moved aside and let Leo take her place. Charlie's laid-back attitude to the game vanished within seconds as Leo scored instantly. A look of pure concentration crossed Charlie's features and he had every intention of laying the smack-down on his father.

"You should play against your mom. She is lethal."

"Focusing on playing against you at the moment, Dad." Charlie mumbled, not taking his eyes off the ball as it bounced from plastic player to plastic player. Leo had Charlie's easy mood while playing this, Charlie growing increasingly annoyed with the game.

Leo caught up with the scores pretty quickly, evening it out in minutes. Charlie didn't get a single goal in, his father failing to go easy on him.

In another three minutes, Leo had won the game.

"You," He prodded Charlie in the chest, "owe me chocolate cake."

"We never agreed on that."

"You don't have a choice. I'm your dad."

"You're mean."

"No, your mom's mean."

"I heard that." Leo's smile turned sheepish as he turned to face his wife. Louisa was leaning in the doorway, a coffee in one hand and a chocolate muffin in the other.

"Hello, chica." Louisa stared him out. "Oh, come on! You say you're mean all the time! How come I can't get away with it?"

"I have spent the last two hours standin' around with a posh bimbo goin' on 'bout how fabulous her life, her home 'n' her _darlin'_ husband are; my phone ran outta battery so I can't listen ta music ta drown her annoyin' as Hades voice out; she keeps askin' me questions I don't wanna answer 'n' then she goes on to how amazin' she is 'n' I just wanna shoot her." She glanced at Joe. "No offense, bud, but your mom is a self-centred, pompous, bitchy hag." Joe couldn't help but smile.

"Wait until dinner. Everything has to be… oh, what's the word?" Charlie cleared his throat and tinted his voice with the posh accent Megan had.

"Impeccable."

"Can you imitate my dad?"

"I don't know. I can try, but he doesn't talk around me, remember? I'm dangerous 'riff-raff'." Charlie's friends grinned while Louisa scoffed.

"If you're dangerous riff-raff, then what the hell am I?"

"A nuclear bomb that's trigger happy and willing to kill everyone for the fun of it." Leo replied without thinking. Thankfully, Louisa started laughing.

"That sounds about right." She took Leo's hand. "If you leave me with posh bitches again, I will kill you, OK?"

"OK." Leo smiled; relieved she hadn't killed him for speaking his mind.

* * *

Dinner was… weird.

Or _impeccable _as Charlie had said. Heck, how did he know that word? He was as common muck as Louisa was, not that he cared, and 'impeccable' was _not_ one of his words.

Thankfully, Louisa had Charlie and Leo either side of her, so she didn't have to sit anywhere near Megan or Harrison. Joe sat on Charlie's other side with Kara next to him and Carly next to her.

Louisa barely paid attention to the seating plan, playing 'eenie meenie miney mo' with the cutlery laid out in front of her. About half a dozen forks with half a dozen knives and some spoons, all different. Leo was watching her, unable to suss out which fork and knife he was supposed to use.

Charlie, having been here before plenty of times, knew which knife and fork he had to use, while he 'accidently' knocked the rest on the floor.

"Oh gods, I'm so sorry. I'm such a clumsy idiot."

"No, you're just an idiot." Charlie smiled at Joe before ducking under the table and picking up the fallen cutlery.

"You do that every time." Megan stated. She and Harrison remained oblivious to the fact that all the other parents were struggling with the cutlery choices.

"I'm ordering pizza." Leo told Louisa quietly. "Want some?"

"Please." She breathed back. "I am not eatin' snails." Leo smiled in acknowledgement, using his homemade phone to type out an order.

"OK, what are everybody's favourite pizzas?" They all answered; expect Megan and Harrison, who looked at him in distaste.

"You like pizza?" Harrison frowned.

"Yeah. Problem?"

"It is not pleasant." Megan sniffed.

"Neither is your face." Louisa muttered. Charlie burst out laughing, covering his mouth to stifle them. Megan and Harrison looked at them curiously, noticing Leo and Charlie containing laughter while Louisa looked on innocently.

With all their answers in mind, Leo ordered pizza. He had a reserve amount of money in his bank for moments like this. This, lack of real food, was classed as an emergency in his book and they could all do with pizza.

"So, Leo, what do you do as a living?"

"I'm a repair man." Leo replied. Harrison and Megan shared a look. Leo noticed Louisa's fingers closing around a knife and covered her hand with his, restraining her from lodging a knife in Megan or Harrison's forehead.

"He's an inventor as well." Charlie added, poking at a snail with his fork. "Ew, this one's alive."

"Is it?"

"Is now." Charlie flipped his plate and the snail flew at Joe.

"Charlie!" Charlie laughed childishly, yet maniacally as Joe glowered at him. Everyone except Joe's uptight parents were laughing as well.

"Aw, come on, bud, you found that funny."

"Not really."

"You will later." Charlie shrugged it off.

"Charlie, you should be nice to Joe."

"Why?"

"This is his house."

"Technically, it is mine." Harrison interrupted.

"No-one cares." Louisa sighed. Megan and Harrison glared at her. "Wut?"

"I was simply correcting an anomaly." Harrison stated.

"_I was simply correctin' an anomaly_." Louisa mimicked cruelly. "I don't care. I didn't want to come here in the first place 'n' hang around with uptight sleazeballs that think just 'cos they've got a bit of cash that they can look down on everyone like shit on their shoes."

"Lou, you said you'd behave." Leo muttered.

"I lied." Louisa told him before turning back to Joe's stunned parents. "I don't like you. I knew I weren't gonna like you."

"Why are you here then?"

"I'm doin' somethin' for ma kid." She waved at Charlie. "I ain't here ta boast about how amazin' I am or show-off the amazin' house that my amazin' husband got for me with his amazin' job. Nobody gives a shit." The doorbell rang.

"Pizza's here!" Leo got up. He grabbed his wife's hand and eased the knife from her fingers. "Give us a hand."

"You ordered pizza?" Megan was on her feet now. "This is not your house. You had no right to order that… that _filth_!"

"Gimme that knife back."

"No. And I had every right. I'm a guest. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"I love my parents." Charlie smiled. He glanced at Joe, who was watching his parents nervously. He got up and snuck over. "You OK, bud?" He asked, making Joe jump.

"You're a frigging ninja."

"Yes, thank you. Are you OK?"

"Yeah…"

"But?" Joe sighed.

"I can't tell him."

"Tell who what?" Joe tensed and glanced round, meeting his father's stern gaze.

"Um…" He said brilliantly.

"I told him to tell you to get a face lift 'cos you'll get wrinkles looking like that all the time. He just didn't want to say that in case he upset you." Harrison's jaw bunched as he glowered at Charlie. Charlie, as always, remained carefree and smiling, meeting Joe's dad's angry gaze easily.

"Is that true, Joseph?"

"Josephine."

"Shut up, Charlie. And, yeah, it is." Joe lied, looking up to hold his father's gaze to try and silently persuade his father that that was the truth. Harrison studied him furiously.

Leo and Louisa dumped stacks of pizza boxes on the table.

"Who had cheese, ham and pineapple?" Leo asked.

* * *

The tension did not settle. Louisa and Leo sat outside, throwing stones into the large pond, while the kids sat in the games room. The other parents were milling about, the moms wondering from Harrison to Megan in attempts to calm them down while the dads sat in the conservatory drinking beer.

"I think dinner went better than expected." Charlie smiled, throwing a juggling ball up and catching it. He had found them in a drawer and they were now his.

"I can't believe you said that to Dad."

"It was that or the truth."

"Why couldn't you come up with something nicer?"

"I'm ADHD, remember? I think something, I say it."

"Yeah, I got that bit." Joe muttered. He sighed irritably, running his hands through his hair. "Dad's gonna kill me."

"I could hack his laptop if you want."

"Nothing more to annoy him, please." Charlie's smile faltered and he looked concerned.

"Just tell him."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I told you why!"

"Dude, chill, I'm trying to help." Joe sighed again, steadying his breathing in an attempt to calm down.

"I know, I'm sorry." Kara got up and hugged Joe.

"It doesn't matter to us, Joe." Carly joined the hug.

"See, you're gay and getting all the girls. Maybe I should do that."

"Charlie, you're not gay." Joe said, his heart sinking slightly at that.

"I'm a very good actor though."

"Yeah, OK. But what if you don't attract the girls and attract the guys instead? Then what?"

"Um… run." Joe rolled his eyes as the girls moved back. They gave him reassuring smiles, which he returned gratefully.

"Look, if you want, we could help somehow." Carly offered. "Any ideas?" She asked Kara.

"No, not really. Charlie?" Charlie didn't answer. They turned to look at him to see he was studying his palms curiously. "Charlie?" He glanced up, looking like a rabbit in headlights. "You've got that look. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we should tell him with something that reaches the skies."

"What?" Charlie grinned devilishly. "Don't burn anything!" Charlie jumped up and ran out of the room. Joe ran after him, the girls on his heels. "CHARLIE!"

Charlie bounded down the stairs, past adults who called after him. He ran out onto the patio, startling his parents.

"Are you OK?" Leo asked, getting up.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just had this awesome idea to help Joe."

"Oh dear, what?"

"Now that would be spoilers." **(He sounds like me).**

* * *

**I'm going to leave it there. I'll finish tomorrow, hopefully; I'm real tired. This is my 12****th**** page, so I'm definitely stopping there. **


	13. DON'T give Charlie cake

"What's he doing?" Kara's mother mused.

"Please don't set fire to anything…" Leo pleaded quietly. Charlie was running across the immense lawn, jumping about and sprinting in random directions.

"Charlie Valdez!" Joe, Kara and Carly bounded down the steps and raced towards their friend.

"No!" Charlie's shout was faint from this distance. "I'm not finished! Away with you!" He waved his hands as if conducting a spell. His parents were immensely relieved when nothing caught fire. His friends were close to catching him up with him and he turned and ran off. He was smaller and faster and out distanced them easily. Eventually Joe and the girls stumbled to a stop, losing hope of ever catching their small friend.

Charlie saw this and darted back round, returning to the spot he had been in before they had chased him. Joe looked desperate, collapsing to the ground and lying on his back. The girls glanced at each other before forcing themselves to run back to Charlie.

"Charlie, whatever you're doing, stop it!" Kara shouted.

"NEVER!" Charlie called back, jumping over something and kicking the ground.

"What _is_ he doing?" The other parents were looking at Louisa and Leo.

"Dunno." Louisa replied casually. She started down the steps. "C'mon, Valdez. Ya gotta sort ya kid out."

"Again with the 'my-kid, your-kid' thing."

"Shut up." Leo followed and they jogged over to their son, reaching him at the same time as the girls. Joe stumbled over a few minutes later.

"What have you done?" Joe asked warily.

"Well…" Charlie smiled, looking pleased with himself. "You know you had to tell your _lovely_ parents your little secret?"

"Oh you didn't…"

"All I have to do is set it on fire."

"Please don't." Joe begged, looking terrified. Charlie's devilish smile softened into reassurance.

"I won't." He paused. "Yet." Joe looked stricken. "Unless you tell them _right now_."

"But-"

"You'll never tell them otherwise."

"Charlie-" Leo started. Charlie looked at him innocently. "Let Joe tell them in his own time."

"Tell who what?" Joe tensed, getting a serious sense of _déjà vu_**. **He turned and saw his parents watching, annoyance etched over their features. "What is he doing this time?"

"I was going to set fire to your garden." Charlie replied casually, as if they were discussing the weather. Their annoyance faded briefly into shock before Harrison rounded on Leo and Louisa.

"And this is OK with you, is it?"

"Possibly." Louisa muttered. Leo knew better and kept his mouth shut, even though his ADHD was screaming at him to say something sarcastic. "Teaching your _freaky _son to be an arsonist, for crying out loud- what is wrong with you?"

"What did you call him?" Louisa asked, her tone flat and deadly serious. Charlie took a cautious step back, hiding behind Joe, but peering keenly over Joe's shoulder to watch was happened.

"_Freaky_." Harrison snarled. Megan nodded in agreement. Leo glanced at his wife, seeing that she obviously wanted to hit the pair. He did as well, but if he acted before her, she'd go nuts. Well, nuttier.

Harrison wasn't finished yet though. "You're all a bunch of freaks. Stupid and disregarding of everything- the world would be a better place without you riff-ra-" He never finished, Louisa punching him solidly in the jaw.

Turning back to look at her, Harrison tasted blood.

"There's a lot more where that came from, bud." Megan stepped forward and made to slap Louisa in return. Louisa caught her wrist, twisted her arm until Megan was doubled over with her arm twisted painfully behind her back. "Are we gonna try anythin' else or insult my family again?" Louisa asked, a hint of malice and threat in her tone.

"Mama, chill." Charlie moved around Joe and eased Louisa's hand from Megan's wrist. Charlie hugged his mother, willing her to calm down.

"I told ya comin' here was a bad idea." She grumbled.

"Can I set fire to stuff now?"

"No!" His friends and parents exclaimed. Charlie grinned. "Honestly, Charlie, ya just like ya dad."

"Is he my kid now?"

"You're not gonna let that one go, are you?"

"No." Leo smiled.

* * *

Joe didn't tell his father what he wanted to tell him. Charlie had to quiz him on it as they went home shortly after the minor (very minor) fight.

But somehow, word had gotten out that Joe was gay and he started getting trouble at school. The girls did their best to make him seem 'not gay', but Joe just shrugged off their attempts.

"Maybe Dad'll find out and then have to deal with it." He mumbled.

"You know what, bud? I got this."

"Please don't burn anything."

"Oh, I won't. Don't worry." Charlie gave a reassuring grin. "Just… wait for tomorrow. I need to talk to… someone."

"Please tell me it's not an Assassin." Charlie cracked up laughing.

"Now there's an idea!" Joe looked panicked. "No, I'm joking." Charlie ran a hand through his hair, glancing around. "Certain people in high up places." He said, pointing at the ceiling. "Granddad H and Granddad P."

"Oh OK. They'll help?"

"Possibly. It depends if they're in a nice mood." Thunder rumbled. Charlie looked contrite. "They're always in nice moods. What am I on about?"

"Oy gay boy!" Joe's hopeful look faltered. Charlie turned and met Kevin's gaze across the hall.

"Be careful, Kevin!" Charlie called, pulling his PDA (Personal Digital Assistant) from his pocket. "There are some very mushy texts on here to your supposed girlfriend! I wonder what will happen if they get out…" Kevin blushed deep scarlet and Charlie laughed maniacally.

"You need to sort that laugh out, Charlie." Joe smiled, ruffling Charlie's hair.

"What's wrong with my laugh?"

"You've got an evil one, a crazy one, a really cheeky and sarcastic one and then there's that one where you laugh at someone else's misfortune."

"Am I supposed to laugh at anything else?" Joe rolled his eyes, smiling.

* * *

Seeing as he couldn't swim all the way down to the bottom of the ocean and survive, Charlie IM'd Hephaestus.

"GRANDDAD H!" Charlie shouted over the noise of his grandfather's godly workshop. Hephaestus looked up from his blueprints, frowning. Fire sparked in his beard as he looked around warily. "OY!"

"Oh, Charlie." Hephaestus clapped and all noise stopped.

"Hi." Charlie smiled. Hephaestus nodded in return. "What are you working on?"

"Stuff." Hephaestus replied after a while, clenching and unclenching his jaw. Charlie knew that look.

"OK, you're busy. I'll be real quick. Did I tell you about Joe?"

"Joe?"

"My friend."

"The gay one?"

"Yeah."

"What about him?"

"Well, he's getting picked on big time for being gay and I wanted to know if you could magic up something for me?"

"That depends… what is it?" Charlie grinned.

* * *

Joe and the girls were waiting for Charlie at the gates, as usual. Except Joe was getting tense and the girls were getting angry as everyone they knew that walked past them shouted out insults.

"Gay boy!" Joe spotted Charlie's dad's car pull up on the other side of the road and a sense of relief washed over him. Charlie always made him feel better- part of the reason as to why Joe liked him so much.

Charlie jumped out of the car, turning back to glare at his dad. The pair were like two peas in a pod and it was brilliant when they teamed up. Charlie waved his arms around before folding them and hunching his shoulders sulkily. Leo said something to him and Charlie burst out laughing. He got his bag out of his car, closed the door and waved goodbye to his father. He ran across the street after Leo pulled away, not caring. That was the problem with Charlie being ADHD- he didn't know that cars could hurt unless they slammed into him. Stupid child…

"Hi!"

"GAY!"

"GIT!" Charlie shouted back instantly. "New T-shirt!" He smiled, spreading his arms. It was a navy blue T-shirt with a red rectangle on the front with bold white lettering on that.

SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY

GET OVER IT!

Joe beamed. "Told you I'd help." Charlie smiled. "Did anybody bring food? I got up late and I didn't get brekkie."

"Aw, poor baby." Carly cooed, reaching into her bag. "I had some chocolate cake last night and thought you'd want the rest for lunch." Charlie brightened as she handed over a large slice of chocolate cake wrapped in red paper napkins. "But if you're hyper later, I didn't give you cake, OK?"

"OK. Thank you!" Carly ruffled his hair and Charlie happily munched on his chocolate cake, devouring it in less than two minutes.

"It's all round your face." Joe laughed. Charlie wiped it away with the napkins before charging off. "Charlie!"

"He's running off 'cos he found out your gay." Somebody said behind them.

"Have you seen his T-shirt?" Kara snapped, glaring at them. Charlie suddenly appeared again.

"Hi!"

"Where'd you go?"

"Look!" He held up a stack of Pokémon cards.

"Where'd you get those?"

"Some kid had them over there."

"You stole them?"

"Borrowed. I _borrowed _them." Charlie looked at the kid who had mocked Joe. "Can I help you?" The kid read his T-shirt.

"No." He muttered, stalking off. A kid two grades below with messy blonde hair and hazel eyes appeared behind Charlie.

"Dude, I am so sorry. But it's Pokémon! Do you have Pikachu?" Charlie asked eagerly.

"No more chocolate cake for you." Joe sighed, putting his hand on Charlie's shoulder and steering the smaller boy inside to class.

"But- he- POKÉMON!"

"Charlie!"

"No!" Charlie covered his ears. "Lalalalala!" He called. Joe clamped a hand over Charlie's mouth as Kara opened a door to a nearby classroom. Joe shoved him in and pulled the door shut, holding the handle so Charlie couldn't escape. "Hey! That's not fair!"

"Is that Charlie in there?"

"Yeah." Sage beamed in pride.

"You're learning." And with that, she walked off.

"Sage!" Charlie shouted before cursing them in Spanish. "Ooh, window."

"No!" The three friends ran in, but Charlie had already opened the window, standing on the table and climbing out. "Charlie!"

* * *

"How much sugar was in that cake?" Joe grumbled.

"I don't know… Dad made it."

"Charlie, are you alright? You seem really… jittery?"

"I'm hyper." Charlie declared happily. He was literally bouncing in his seat, tapping his foot and drumming his fingers on the table.

"Oh dear Lord help me." The teacher mumbled. "Who gave him sugar?" No-one answered. Carly kept her expression neutral, looking around as if to spot the culprit. "OK, Charlie- what- where did you get that?"

"I don't know. Cool, right?"

"No, put it down before- that." Charlie had found a bouncy ball and had bounced it off his desk. It ricocheted about the classroom, bonking Kevin on the back of the head.

"Fifty points!" Charlie beamed, punching the air triumphantly. He started using his pen and Joe's pen as drumsticks. "Miss, when's recess?" Charlie asked, ignoring Kevin's glower.

"An hour."

"Ugh, that's ages!"

"I know…"

"Why? So you can sneak off with your gay friend?" Kevin smirked. His friends snickered. Charlie made the point of standing and vaulting over his desk, bouncing to the front.

"I'm teaching!" He announced. "You!" He pointed at the teacher. "Go and get me choccie cake! You lot!" He pointed at Kevin and friends. "Detention until you die! You!" Charlie pointed at Joe. "Get yo' ass up here."

"No, I'm good thanks."

"Coward."

"Midget."

"JOSEPHINE!" Charlie turned to the white board, juggling a pen from hand to hand. The teacher knew better than to try and get the pen from the hyperactive boy and went to search her desk for something quiet to distract him with. "How'd you spell Josephine?" He asked, looking at the teacher.

"J-o-s-e-p-h-i-n-e."

"Slowly, I can't write that fast."

"Stupid idiot."

"Dyslexic idiot, asshole."

"Charlie!"

"Wut?"

"Charlie Valdez, my office, please." Charlie sat on the floor and covered his ears.

"VOICES!"

"Is he OK?"

"No, probably not." Joe got up and tried to pry Charlie's hands away from his ears. "Oy, you've gotta see the principal."

"Don't want to."

"Did you hack his laptop again?"

"Yeah." Charlie opened his eyes and smiled sweetly.

"With?"

"Um… Well…"

"Ugh, just go." Joe hauled Charlie to his feet and pushed him all the way and out of the classroom. Sighing, he turned around and went back to sit down only to have Charlie run back in.

"Troll! Troll in the dungeon!"

"Charlie!" The teacher ordered.

"No!" Charlie ran out again. Then ran back in again. "Where am I going?"

"Principal's office."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Charlie grinned.

"OK." He left again and this time, he didn't come back, much to the teacher's obvious relief.

* * *

**OK, this is mostly drabble, but hey! Seven pages! And I did 12 yesterday! I should get an award or something… oh, wait… I've got a bag of choccie next to me- I'm good! :D **


	14. Phoenix

**This is a partial idea I've had for a bit. I'm only doing it now because somebody psychic guessed it…**

**And I don't really have ideas other than this. I'm just using filler chapters mainly until I get to the bit I want. I hope that's OK.**

* * *

Charlie was biting his thumb when Joe, Carly and Kara found him.

"You OK?" Joe asked.

"Cut my thumb." Charlie replied, showing them the small drop of blood.

"That was clever." Charlie smiled. "Hey, there's a new girl."

"Ooh, shiny."

"Charlie!" Kara laughed. "Girls aren't shiny."

"They are in my book."

"You're weird."

"Have you only just figured that out?" Kara glared at him half-heartedly. Charlie grinned sarcastically before turning and looking down the corridor. "I want to find this new girl and annoy her." Joe frowned slightly. Normally, Charlie helped the new kids settle in and then annoyed them. The girls hadn't noticed, so Joe stayed quiet.

Charlie wandered off, which was also unlike him. If he was on the hunt for a new kid, he bounced off and badgered people for information.

Joe had met the new kid once. She seemed nice enough, a bit shy. He was watching Charlie when he saw her out of the corner of his eye. Charlie had rambled past her.

"Charlie!" Charlie looked back. Joe pointed and Charlie looked in the point's general direction.

"No way!" The new girl looked round.

"Charlie?"

"Phoenix?" Charlie looked bewildered, gormless slightly. The new girl pushed her way through the crowd of girls that had decided to take care of the new girl for a bit. "You ditched me!"

"I didn't ditch you."

"You left me on my own."

"I did not."

"Did too." Charlie muttered, sulking. The new girl- Phoenix- folded her arms, her molten lava eyes glittering cheekily. Charlie grinned and bounded forward. Phoenix was a fraction of an inch shorter than him, which clearly settled well with Charlie as the pair hugged.

"You know her?" One of the girls asked, looking Charlie over in confusion.

"Oh, we go way back." Charlie beamed. Phoenix jabbed her fingers in Charlie's sides and effectively made him jump away, squirming and complaining.

"What he means is that his family helped me and my older sister out of a tight spot."

"And they moved in with us!" Charlie finished. "But then Ava moved out and you went with her. You ditched me!"

"I didn't! I ran away!" Charlie gaped at her. She flicked her auburn hair out of her eyes before grinning triumphantly.

"Well, looks like you're going to have to do it again then." He grinned devilishly before rushing her. Phoenix squealed and ran off.

"That kid gets weirder every day." Joe muttered, running a hand through his hair.

* * *

Charlie and Phoenix were inseparable. It was clear they had been the best of friends as kids and that bond hadn't vanished or weakened. They bickered non-stop, always challenging the other, but they made the perfect team, winding the teachers and fellow students up. She became a member of their group very quickly, getting on incredibly well with the girls.

Joe didn't tell her his secret. Charlie trusted her, but Joe wasn't sure. Her eyes unnerved him- eyes couldn't naturally be that colour, could they? But she was very nice and kept Charlie in his place more often than not, which was an impossible task.

"Ooh, choccie cake."

"No." Phoenix said sternly. Charlie looked at her challengingly. "_No_." She repeated, her tone firmer. She had one hand on her hip and was pointing at Charlie warningly. "I'll tell your mom."

"She finds it funny."

"What if you're still hyper when you get home?" Charlie checked his watch.

"I'll be safe."

"Mm-hm." He made a grab for the chocolate cake Kara was holding out for him. Phoenix grabbed his wrists and spun him round forcefully, unbalancing him. Charlie looked at her stubbornly.

"Uh oh, he's got that look." Joe grinned.

"Can I remind you how many embarrassing things that you've ever done over the six years that you lived with me? Look at how many kids there are here…"

"You wouldn't…"

"I would." Charlie made to climb on the table, but Phoenix grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back. "Unless you never stop me from having choccie cake." Phoenix didn't agree with this.

"Fine." Charlie beamed at her.

"Good girl." Charlie held his hands out to Kara. "Choccie cake." He pleaded childishly. Kara smiled and handed it over. Phoenix glowered, but kept quiet.

"Charlie, your arm's bleeding." Charlie looked down at his left forearm. For the past few days, he had worn a bandage over it, insisting he had fallen from a tree (idiot). The bandage was to stop him from picking at the scabs.

"So it is." Charlie studied it for a few seconds, before shrugging it off and biting into his favourite food.

* * *

"Charlie Valdez and Phoenix Anderson! My office!"

"Woo!" Charlie and Phoenix high-fived and got up. Their classmates gave them a polite round of applause while their teacher threw a board marker at them.

"Get out!" She warned, but she was smiling. Charlie threw the board marker right back, but his throw was way off. Charlie was well-known for his accurate aim. Instead of skimming the teacher's shoulder like he usually threw the marker, it bounced off the board about two metres from where the teacher stood.

"All in the wrist." He said casually, following Phoenix out.

"Are you OK?" Phoenix asked. Charlie had been a bit funny for the last few days. He smiled and waved it off.

"I'm lacking caffeine and sugar. I'm fine." Phoenix didn't pester him as he would switch and play mute and wouldn't talk until she changed the subject. For someone that didn't shut up, he was very good at playing mute.

In the principal's office, the two had to sit like good little students in matching chairs and act innocent. They hadn't redesigned the school's computer system. They hadn't added rainbows and unicorns. They hadn't unblocked all the games. They hadn't done _anything_.

"You've got until the end of lunch to put the school system back to normal or you'll be cleaning gum off the bleachers."

"Didn't you make Kevin and his group do that?"

"Yes, but they were poor workers."

"Should've kept them there until they had finished." Charlie muttered. The principal studied him for a few seconds.

"Are you alright?" Charlie nodded.

"He said he was lacking caffeine and sugar."

"No caffeine and no sugar for you, Charlie. A good night's sleep is what you need."

"Sir, I'm ADHD. It goes one sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle duck, Old McDonald had a farm." The principal chuckled.

"Don't count sheep. It keeps the mind going."

"Oh." Charlie shrugged. "Okey dokey then." The principal glanced sidelong at Phoenix before looking at Charlie quizzically. Charlie just nodded.

"Is it your fire?"

"A bit." Phoenix recalled Charlie's fire powers, remembering how he had accidently set their old school on fire when he was nine. Well, part of it anyway. She had been there and had managed to pull him to his senses to drag him out. They had both been kicked out.

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" Charlie nodded, sitting forward to play with the Moses cradle on his teacher's desk. He loved this thing, but it wasn't long until the principal confiscated it. "What did you do to your arm?"

"Fell out a tree." Charlie replied quickly. Phoenix frowned. The principal was chewing his lip.

"Go and sort the system out." He said, shooing them out of the room, but watching Charlie carefully.

* * *

**Any guesses? **


End file.
